Trigger alert, we’re about to thank Fox News for a thing because one of their star hairpieces declared our fair burgh the capital of a thing – and being a capital means tourist dollars, or so we hope.
Here’s the deal: Fox commentator Jesse Watters this week declared Corvallis as America’s Capital of DEI. Earning the honor, according to the Murdoch marionette, was our City Council’s recent vote proclaiming everyone’s favorite college town a sanctuary city for transgender, intersex, and gender-diverse folks.
Obviously, this Fox News recognition means big tourist dollars as right-wingers pour into town to protest our fair burgh’s proclamatory ways. Fortunately, with Chick-fil-A building a restaurant here, our newest brand of tourists should feel right at home, receiving a warm Corvallis welcome… because we’re just that inclusive.
More recognition: Corvallis has again been deemed Oregon’s Best College Town. This time by World Atlas.
Their review cites Corvallis as standing out as a “shining example of the Pacific Northwest’s rapid evolution” from frontier country to an educational and economic powerhouse. Yes, from 1851 to now… it’s been a whirlwind.
They also write, “Notable alumni include Linus Pauling, a two-time Nobel Prize winner in Chemistry and Peace, as well as Douglas Engelbart, inventor of the computer mouse. It’s also the alma mater of the legendary Dick Fosbury, an Olympic gold medalist known for revolutionizing the high jump with his famous “Fosbury Flop.”
They quite accurately note our fair burgh’s outsized offerings of recreational opportunities, restaurants and cultural events. Punching above our weight is a very Corvallis thing to do, after all, and we’re sure glad the World Atlas noticed.
Landfill expansion dog-pile: If you’re a landfill in Corvallis, you’re already having a public relations problem. But this week, that problem turned into a pile-up.
On Tuesday, the Benton County Planning Division recommended the Planning Commission deny Republic Services’ application to expand the Coffin Butte landfill. They also noted 135 public comments had been received in opposition, with all but one opposing the expansion.
“Based on findings in the Staff Report and information in the file, staff concludes that noise and odor analysis and evidence provided by the applicant does not sufficiently demonstrate that the proposal will not “seriously interfere” with uses on adjacent properties or the character of the area. Therefore, staff recommends Denial of this application,” concluded the Benton County Planning Division’s staff in their 76-page report.
And then today the County put out a release that basically says they’d actually received way more public comments about the dump than they originally thought – so many more that it literally broke their online comment on stuff system. They seem to indicate the way more may be in the hundreds. Their statement says they still have the comments, and that they’ll get to the Planning Commission before their hearings start.
And then before any of that, on Saturday, Benton County ‘s Republicans passed a resolution saying, “The Central Committee of the Benton County Republican Party formally opposes any further expansion of the Benton County Coffin Butte Landfill.” They cited concerns over the health and welfare of residents, methane emissions, and inadequate governmental monitoring of the site. They also cited specific and serious environmental concerns that you really-really should read – click here to do that.
And it’s not just the Republicans. “The Benton County Democrats in order to protect the earth’s climate endorses the denial of any expansion request of the existing landfill and any new landfill in Benton County,” resolved Benton County’s Democratic Central Committee a few months back. The denial party was also joined by the local Green Party.
Republic may want to check which way the wind blows and take a whiff.
There may be ten people in all of Corvallis that support expanding the dump, but we’ve only met three of them. Also, this isn’t the first time the County has considered Republic’s request and said no. And now, in an earth’s axis-tilting event, both Democrats and Republicans join in a big fat NOPE… together. Hell, the no freaking way is so thick it broke the machine tasked with taking in the no freaking ways.
Disclaimer: We apologize for calling Fox commentator Jesse Watters a hairpiece – we have no evidence his hair is anything but real. But in our defense, when the hell has anyone seen hair like that since a 1970s sitcom rerun.
Okay, we know you’re too embarrassed to ask. Rerun was a term used in ancient times referring to an old episode of a show. Before there were streaming services, people just kept rewatching old episodes of shows whether they were any good or not. Historians have yet to determine why.
Anyhow, we apologize for calling Watters a hairpiece. Calling Watters a hairpiece could be inaccurate. Calling Watters a hairpiece was in poor taste. Calling Watters a hairpiece was bad. We probably shouldn’t have called Watters a hairpiece. And, hey, tourist dollars… so thanks.
By Mike Suarez
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