From Bad to Verse: Leaf Me Alone, Resolutions, What’s a Clerihews

Charge Account 

As she plugged the car in, her face looked bad 

Dour and certainly jolting 

When I asked her what was wrong, she said 

“My Tesla, it’s revolting” 


Leaf Me Alone 

“No virgin forests left in Oregon” 

Declared the New York Times 

And what’s the cause of their demise? 

A bunch of knotty pines  



The cricketers tried to explain 

To the prince who was apt to complain 

How their match would postpone 

His ascent to the throne 

Yes, the reign was delayed by a game 


To the Letter 

You’ll find no ‘i’ in TEAM 

No matter the spelling scheme 

However, I cannot resist 

To note the two in NARCISSIST 


Resolution to the New Year 

That gasping noise? 

There’s no denying 

What you hear 

Is Auld Lang sighing 


Something From Nothing 

Two nothings saw in each other’s eyes 

And had a merry fling 

Then came the big surprise 

A little something 


NEW: Clerihews 

(Clerihews are short four line verses that start in the first line with a person’s name and then the remaining lines provide info about the person in a humorous fashion.  The rhyme scheme is supposed to be AABB and I took some liberty with that in the second one below.) 


Pete Best 

After getting kicked out could attest 

How being a former Beatles drummer 

Was a serious career bummer 


King Charles 

Certainly was 

Without debating 

England’s longest gentleman in waiting 


Boutros Boutros Ghali 

The former U.N. head, by golly 

Would never cheer 

On hearing “Is there an echo in here?” 


One Liner 

When beavers sleep, they gnawed off 



I’ve come to the conclusion 

Writing is a terrible curse 

Cuz if the greatest things are left unsaid 

There’s no hope for this verse 


– Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses. 

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