From Bad to Verse: By the Numbers, Armed not Dangerous, Cover Ups 

By the Numbers 

In math class 

Too many distractions 

My primary trouble? 



Sham Poo 

Drug resistant lice 

Evade the meds 

And leave researchers 

Scratching their heads 



One magazine in this great nation 

Is kaput – it’s now in cessation 

’Twas called “Ceiling Fans” 

What ruined their plans 

Was said to be low circulation 


Another Limerick 

We’re searching for arsonist Ben 

One of Portland’s most wanted of men 

He’s so hard to catch 

His weapon’s a match 

Let’s find him ‘fore he strikes again 


One Liner 

A wicked lady who controls bulbs with her eyes is a lights witch. 


Armed and Not Dangerous 

They say that he’s 

A non-violent activist 

But he didn’t strike me 

As a pacifist 


Glow in the Dork 

Mood rings are great 

Who can resist ‘em? 

They’re really good  

As warning systems 



Men with two suits 

Fret looking debonair 

Unlike men with one 

Who know which one to wear 


Cover Ups 

I didn’t like the look 

Of my living room walls 

And the awful sights 

Of those in my halls 


So onto them 

I put some paint 

And now no fuss 

And no complaint 


Yes, the plan ahead’s 

A whole lot clearer 

I need to go and 

Paint my mirror 


– Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses. 

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