From Bad to Verse: Atilla the Hen, A Preposterosaurus, And For Jerry

Looks are Deceiving 

“I see an optical illusion” 

I told my friend today 

Turns out it really wasn’t 

It simply looked that way 

 

Limerick 

A senator out on vacation 

Decided to talk to the nation 

So he spoke from a ship 

Moving at a fast clip 

It quite a deck oration 

 

Meanest 

The meanest chicken 

In the pen 

Is widely known 

As Attila the Hen 

 

Uplifting 

“Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous” 

“I’m very happy to say” 

“Looking out across this crowd” 

“I see many new faces today 

 

Old Ages 

My history teacher 

Goes on and on 

Why does she 

Babylon? 

 

The Preposterosaurus – A Channeling of  Shel Silverstein 

 

I had a weird dream late last night 

Where I was in a deep, dark forest 

And the oddball scientist with me 

Was making a Preposterosaurus 

 

A Preposterosaurus, I quickly learned 

Could be scary or most endearing 

It’s made by hybridizing animals 

With bioengineering 

 

The problem she was having 

Was filing patent claims 

In order to do that, she had to invent 

Descriptive animal names 

 

For example, there was 

A bit of fuss 

Over calling one a Duck-billopotamus 

Or a Hippopotaplatypus 

 

A similar problem 

Came with the Octopus/Walrus 

Is the best name for it a Octolus 

Or perhaps a Walropus? 

 

It was tough to combine a rhino 

With a lowly ostrich 

But doing so, which name to use – an Ostrinoceros 

Or a Rhinocerich? 

 

He made a marine/terrestrial blend 

In which everyone could revel 

But is it a Tasmanian Devifish 

Or just a Jellydevil? 

 

For hybrids of swamp creatures 

With toothy smiles 

Is it be better to call them Crocogators 

Or Allidiles? 

 

Should a creature that’s part chameleon 

And part opossum 

Be called an Opossaleon 

Or a Chameleossum? 

 

Spiky organism hybrids 

Look really fine 

But are they porcudillos 

Or Armidipines? 

 

And last, there was an amazing three way mix 

Twixt a butterfly, a head lice, and an oak 

I was anxious to hear its amazing name 

But unfortunately, I awoke 

 

For Jerry 

(An old friend of ours, and anyone who ever knew him, recently passed away. He was a Corvallis icon on his bi/tricycle) 

 

Our good friend Jerry’s gone away 

And we shall miss him every day 

It’s thanks to him that we now know 

How much good can fit in a soul 

 

An irreplaceable 

Corvallis icon 

Here’s to you, Jerry 

“Bike on” 

 

RIP 

 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.   

Do you have a story for The Advocate? Email editor@corvallisadvocate.com