From Bad to Verse: Seasonal Message, Barely Present, A Tiny Rambunctious Young Elf

Seasonal Message 

“August,” he declared
“Hearty and hale”
But was more like December
No wind in his sails

“Proud and upright”
“Like a summer day tall”
More like teetering, tottering
Ready for the Fall

“Ready and coached”
“Now I am the boss”
Hungover and poached
It’s the holiday sauce 

 

Barely Present 

I put upon my head my hat
And on my feet my shoes
But forgot what goes on in between
Hey look, I’m on the evening news 

 

Limerick (Untitled) 

A tiny rambunctious young elf
Had a fall from the Binyons top shelf
He landed unseen
On a lensing machine
And made a big spectacle of himself 

 

The Glass Conundrum 

Optimists say the glass is half full 

For pessimists, you didn’t fill it 

But it’ll seem like it had much more 

If you accidentally spill it 

 

The Lottery 

Losing the lottery
Instead of a win
Means no reconnecting
With all of your kin

Cuz a family reunion
Comes with a big check
Second cousins and in-laws
All wanting to connect

And don’t get me started
About all the friends
Upon which getting that check
Depends

Given all of these factors
It really would suck
So excuse me, I’m wishing for
A bit of bad luck 

 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses. 

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