A group of Corvallis moms recently got together in a field to scream. And laugh. And cry. And most importantly, to powerfully connect with each other in an honest way about how hard taking care of others during the past two years has been on them. The moms, having practiced a form of self-care, left feeling better, and plan on meeting up again.
As Sarah Finger McDonald, the lead organizer of the event, said, “We came. We cried. We laughed. We screamed. And no one called the police. It was wonderful to gather with moms and lighten each other’s loads a bit.”
The Inspiration
McDonald had posted the WBUR story in her local mom group about the Massachusetts moms practicing something known as scream therapy. Many responded that they wanted to do this too, so McDonald set up a time and place.
For her, the screaming wasn’t as important as the women coming together, acknowledging how hard it is holding it all together for others, and getting relief knowing they aren’t the only ones feeling this way.
According to The New York Times‘ interview with Sarah Harmon, the Massachusetts mom who organized the first primal scream gathering in 2021 and 2022, there are “millions of mothers in the United States who have confronted a mental health crisis during the pandemic. So many mothers have been brought to the breaking point as they juggle more child care and domestic work along with their own lives.”
Dr. Ellen Vora, a psychiatrist in Manhattan, said in the NYT interview, “Everyone has been touched by the pandemic in some way, but mothers often have no place to escape and no time to take a break.”
Build It, They Will Come
Screaming may not be your “thing”, McDonald added. She preferred the moments of talking, crying, and laughing, in addition to how the group expressed all the emotions as women beyond their mom status. The shared emotions and mutual trust enabled everyone to let go and show their feelings openly.
McDonald summed up the experience by saying, “The honesty made the whole thing worthwhile.”
McDonald encourages anyone – moms of babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, as well as non-moms – to gather safely together and scream. It was easy to set things up as all she did was say when she was available, where she’d be, and allowed others to show up.
The ability to express raw emotions with others builds connections that further expand the supportive community everyone needs, now more than ever.
By Stacey Newman Weldon
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