HUMPDAY NEWS ROUNDUP: Oregon’s Immunity Cartoon, Teens Stay Home, Ammon Bundy Again, $36 Swastikas, Parler Blink

The latest recap of the news you may have missed… we’re assuming by accident. 

When All Else Fails, Go to the Cartoons 

The state of Oregon is leaving nothing to chance by making an illustration to explain herd immunity. Let’s hope it’s not too imposing for Gen Zers. 

Snow! Portlanders Stuck at Home, Pandas Play 

Our neighbors to the north have had a hard time lately with snow and ice. But the Oregon Zoo continues on. You really “otter” check out these videos. 

In Other Animal Related News… 

KEZI offers advice to keep your pets safe in the cold. Especially if you happen to have pandas or alligators at home… like me. 

Enrollment Reopened 

As the Biden Administration stepped up in late January, one of the first things they did was reinstate the Affordable Care Act and reopen enrollment for health insurance to millions in need. Let’s all thumb our noses at the former administration and get to clicking, because enrollment has begun! 

Star Wars and the Stock Market Meet: It was Just a Matter of time 

Ever wonder who screws over the car dealerships? Forbes magazine found out.  

School Reopening Mapped Out by CDC 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention decided that the best place for children and teachers is in a confined space with few – if any – windows. This, of course, presents a fine opportunity for every parent to remember how much they appreciate teachers for helping them get the kids out of the house several hours each day. By the way, this won’t apply to middle school and high school students, raising the question: How many masks are you willing to wear to have the teens out of the house too?  

Mercury in Retrograde: Run for Your Lives 

According to Vogue UK, Mercury has been in retrograde since Jan. 30 and will continue to be in retrograde until Feb. 21. Does this explain the impeachment vote? 

42 Years Later, They Have an ID 

John Doe 79-1862 was found in 1979 at Multnomah Falls – well, his glasses, jacket, boots, baseball cap, and remains were found. Now, a plucky new forensic anthropologist with the state, Dr. Nici Vance, has made headway into the more than 150 unidentified remains Oregon has, and the family of Freeman Asher Jr., who sadly passed away in 1979, finally knows that he didn’t just ghost them. So far, six people have been identified. 

Ammon Bundy Rears Head… Still Ugly 

The infamous Ammon Bundy showed up in Vancouver, WA to protest the state keeping a 74-year-old woman in quarantine when she wouldn’t take a COVID test.  Bundy’s new “raison d’etre” is to keep America maskless… and dying. 

The A-B-C’s of Lion Dancing 

While America has “line dancing,” China has “lion dancing” – learn the difference here. Welcome to the Year of the Ox!  

The Far Far Far Right has Parler Back 

After the January 6 insurrection, all of the web hosts decided that the far-right “Facebook” called Parler should find other places to host their far-right “users.” Someone blinked – but not before the CEO got canned and the site rules changed to disallow incitements to riot. Welcome back to the rulebook the rest of us have to follow. 

Fauci Wins Science Prize 

Israel saw something in Dr. Anthony Fauci that Donald Trump did not, and they awarded him $1 million for it. Alacritous grins abound in DC Democratic homes. 

$36 Will Get You a Swastika in Redmond 

Farmer’s Co-op Antique Market in Redmond has an interesting selection of racist and Nazi memorabilia. Their excuses included: “People like it.” 

Missouri Demands Their Money Back 

In the game of whose state is better, Oregon might not always win but Missouri sure does lose. Missouri is trying to be repaid for any unemployment funds that may be overpaid. It’s a good color for them during the pandemic, no?  

First Biden Staffer Gone 

Biden deputy press secretary TJ Ducklo “resigned” after threatening a journalist on the trail of his relationship with another journalist. It’s an odd hill to die on if you don’t want to destroy your career. 

Trump Calls Out McConnell 

Former Prez Donald Trump hit the media with serious complaints about Sen. Mitch McConnell, calling him “a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack.” We’ll agree with dour and sullen, but appreciate the unsmiling comment as the Senator looks like a toothless centenarian when he smiles. Our apologies to toothless centenarians everywhere. 

 Another Royal Announced 

In another bid to remain relevant, Meagan and Harry announced a new baby on the way. The Queen’s milquetoast response reminded Americans that the former actress and her princeling hubby moved here for a reason. Best wishes! 

By Sally K Lehman