Corvallis Craigslist: It Isn’t Like Most Craigslists

Pretty much everywhere in North America, there’s a Craigslist, but I have a suspicion that very few Craigslists are like Craigslist CVO.  

Your first stepmom would like to give you a late graduation present.” Is that a Craigslist post or the opening line of a pr0n video?  

I have dreams of developing [my yard]…into a food forest and permaculture playground.So you’re telling people they can come plant their trees and bushes in your yard…? Are you a direct descendant of Tom Sawyer, by any chance…?  

But did you know that Corvallis is the kind of town where people need to be told, Don’t take things that don’t belong to you” . . . ? I didn’t. But overall, good advice. 

 Someone went on Craigslist to look for a “Farrier all species,” and also to complain about someone who claimed to be one but then didn’t show up to shoe the animal, whatever species it was. How many species of animals get metal shoes put on their feet, anyway? I know about horses and oxen, and I suppose donkeys are a separate species from horses…anybody else? The whole thing struck me as weird enough that I wondered if “farrier” and “species” were codewords I wasn’t familiar with.  

You delivered me a pizza [awhile] back. I gave you a tip before you left. Would like to do it again.” Okay, that HAS to be the opening line of a pr0n video…. or a strange way to order pizza.  

[Please, UBL (under bridge lady), don’t] blow your crack smoke in my [child’s] face.” That does seem like a reasonable request. This is the kind of tolerant attitude which makes me glad to be a Corvallisite. This posted went on – “UBL is a gracious soul but foul when it comes to [children’s] faces.” Yeah, we’re like Canadians, only weirder.  

A person wants us to know that he has “a long-standing reluctancy (sic) of being alone,” but that’s okay, because he or she “do not believe I am alone.” Um, okay…. That’s a somewhat disjointed comment, but perhaps that’s why there’s a stylized portrait of Salvador Dali at the top of the page.  

I have some advice for the guy who pines for the Asian woman he saw working out at Snap: identifying her as Asian to make it easier for her to know you mean her is reasonable. Calling her a “goddess” to butter her up is probably tolerable. Calling her an “Asian goddess” is a bad combination.  

By:Ferdinand Quincy Snerd III