CHEERS & JEERS: Press Release Bingo Fun

JEERS to an ageist Corvallisite. City Councilor Paul Shaffer didn’t seek public office until after he retired –a fact used to call him out of touch with working folks during public comment at Monday’s council meeting. Notably, before retiring, Shaffer spent his adult life being a working person [aka a person who works, a worker, a person who conducts work]…. which is like… 40 years of being a working person… or  person who works etc.  

CHEERS for the new city budget of $181 million — we’re talking cool stuff like bike paths, parks, and our very own fire department. Reminder, OSU’s Reser stadium renovations are slated to tally $324.5 million, which is apparently worth more than our library.  

JEERS for turbid waters. County workers have advised against swimming and other assorted fun on Marys River after a standard basalts blast sent plumes of not-good-stuff downstream. At press time, it appeared municipal water systems hadn’t been impacted. The blast took place at Marys River Estates.  

CHEERS for the County offering “standard” and “blast” as descriptors here — two words one wouldn’t generally think about smashing together… but being punchy after a long day, we’re  SOOO GLAD they did.  

CHEERS for the idea of a Theater Diversity Committee. CHEERS that it’s our School District that concocted such an awesomeness. CHEERS for the District committing to appoint folks coming from underrepresented backgrounds… or experience in anti-racist work, as they put it. CHEERS to the just announced selectees for the committee:  Layah Carey, Naomi Hirsch, Adian Hsieh, Annie Neves, Josef Potts, Parker Schulze, Bernard Wang, Elisabeth (Liz) Wieland and Melody Woothtakewahbitty. And CHEERS to the District staff liaison for this committee, Marcianne Rivero Koetje. [This idea just makes all the Advocaters very cheerful]  

JEERS to the idea that university staff and trustees worked to titrate F. King’s tongue on his way out WAS SOMEHOW… NEWS. Of course the Trustees and Admins at OSU circled the wagons. Organizations have been trying to spin this stuff for as long as the idea of organizing has been around. Like, no kidding, they collaborated and sought damage control. The real news is the unabated rape culture at OSU, which we’ve been reporting since 2017, but it just doesn’t seem to be as big a deal to everyone else, so nevermind, let’s just move along…  

CHEERS to Oregon House Republicans and Democrats unanimously agreeing on a thing… Expelling Republican Representative Mike Nearman. Well, almost unanimously. Nearman voted not to expel himself. WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH to see if DC Republicans notice partisanship found its limit yesterday in Oregon… But then, with only seven electoral votes, nobody of any party can even find Oregon on a map.  

PLOT NOTE: Nearman is a Republican who was elected to represent his constituents at the State Capitol, which he took to mean sherpa a bunch of property destroying rioters into the place. Back in 2018, we reported the guy was batfudge nuts, but then again, the corner of Benton County he represented isn’t exactly teeming with Advocate types, so yeah.  

CHEERS to Oregon Secretary of State Shemia Fagan, who just plain does her job, which in this instance meant an audit revealing $6.4 billion in accounting errors throughout the state’s finances. The audit indicates the errors were likely unintentional [or in auditorspeak, ‘meh’] What’s a spare $6.4 billion between the couch cushions worth anyhow. The audit also questions if $5.1 million in federal funds were spent correctly. Being honest, we sorta loved the press release, yuh just gotta read it.  

CHEERS for another press release so bureaucratically written that it’s beautiful… We speak of the City’s invite for any old Corvallisite to propose a pet project… and viola… the thing might actually happen. Like, this is how the Eric Austin Bike Path got its start, so yeah! Now, about that press release… well… if the term Capital Improvement Project doesn’t turn your bolts, consider the acronym… the sheer sincerity and clunkiness of the thing totally made us fall in love with it.  

CHEERS to a happy marriage between OSU and NOAA, and by happy, we mean about $37 million in funding for the next five years. Wait, a five year marriage, pre-arranged? Anyhow, the plan: It’s a new institute focused on human-ocean relations. and the Involved humans will include agriculturalists, engineers, biologists… everyone and their mom, basically.