CHEERS & JEERS: OSU Awful, Linfield Awful-er

CHEERS for the annual start of Farmers’ Markets in Corvallis is April 17. There’s pandemic rules, and if you prefer, you can order online. Days are Saturdays and Wednesdays, times are 8:30 to 1:15, reasons to go are fresh veggies and supporting your town. It’s a win-win-win really. 

YAWN at the Five Guys dead cow emporium opening where the Baja Fresh went stale and closed. Meat-a-vores generally prefer the patties at In-N-Out Burger, even if the Five Guys offer a better deep fried fry. Mmmm… midlife heart surgery. (Advocateers of the carnivorous variety just want Kel’s to come back… come on, we’re beggin’ here!) 

WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH to see what Rebecca Johnson will bring to OSU as Interim President. So far, the university continues its obfuscating ways, this week failing to disclose the location and cause of death for a student on campus. Scary stuff, when you think about it. 

JEERS to Linfield College in McMinnville, Oregon, an institution even more troubled than OSU. For starters, one of their trustees has actually been indicted for sexually abusing students. Now, on Thursday, Oregon‘s Board of Rabbis called for president, Miles K. Davis, and board chair, David Baca, to resign. 

PLOT THICKENS with why they asked  for “mishandling of serious allegations of sexual harassment” and a “stream of comments insinuating religious bias, according to the Rabbis. 

DOUBLE JEERS to said Linfield prez who at one point apparently said, “You don’t give Jews soap when you send them to the showers.” Or, as another witness heard it, “You don’t send Jews to the showers with soap.” [Insert serious WTF here]  

TRIPLE DAMN JEERS because either way you heard him say that phrase, Miles K. says no way, he didn’t do it, but if he did (yes, we are not making this up)… He said, “But if I did I would certainly have attributed it…” Quote attribution is apparently very important to anti-Semites… who knew? 

CHEERS to potato legislators hearing ultra rightwing Oregonians play their favorite pandemic lockdown game secede from Oregon. Idaho’s legislature actually took time to listen to this crap earlier this week, with one state senator asking how people in Oregon making a minimum wage of $11.25 would like a pay cut to Idaho’s minimum wage of $7.25. We think we know how that conversation would go. 

WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH as fulltime classes resume at Corvallis schools on May 3. With variants popping up all over the globe, and making their way here to ORY-GUN, and no vaccine for tikes… what could possibly go wrong? Also, with little more than a month of school to go, what’s the point? 

CHEERS for this riddle… What’s Oregon’s Democratic Senator Wyden have in common with Kentucky’s Republican Senator Rand Paul?  It turns out that both wanna abolish the selective service, which they say costs taxpayers $25 million yearly, whilst there’s been no military draft since 1973. The bill is bicameral, also supported in the House by our very own Rep. Peter DeFazio along with a Rep. from Rhode Island named Rodney Davis, they’re flavored Democrat and Republican, respectively. If passed, this legislation will save each American enough to buy half a bean burrito at Taco Bell and we did actually do the math on that, which probably says something about us, so yeah, just click to another story… Move along. Nothing to see here.