CHEERS & JEERS: It Was Apparently Government Derp Week

CHEERS for the Benton County Sheriff’s Office who caught two numbskulls that threw an illegal, lit firework out their car window. DOUBLE CHEERS to the fire crews who put out the fire lickety split AND kept it under an acre in size. We’d swoon over these heroes, but there’s more to write.  

JEERS to Creswell, Oregon for allowing the Proud Boys organize their July Fourth parade this year. Nothing says America quite like racism and misogyny. CHEERS to most of Oregon for abstaining from personal or public works that fire into the air because of wildfire season – the decision resulted in an 80% drop in fires. IRONICALLY one place that had a fire caused by fireworks was the aforementioned Creswell. We’ll let the religious among us decide if that means anything as we move on…  

CHEERS to Corvallis residents for putting schools up front on the “To Do” list. The bond money provided will see improvements in eight schools this summer with more to come next year. And CHEERS for Sami Al-AbdRabbuh for being selected to chair the school board again.  

CHEERS to Rev. Jennifer Butler and Tim Roach for standing up at the City Council meeting and speaking for the homeless in our community. Both spoke in favor of stopping the sweeps  WORRIED FROWNS for Chamber of Commerce president Simon Date who sympathizes with the plight of the homeless… we didn’t know about Date’s soft heart, although it seems that if he could REALLY sympathize, he might not be calling for continued camp cleanups. 

JEERS to the counsel rules which require the City Council to table the discussion about homelessness in Corvallis simply because it wasn’t on the agenda prior to the meeting. It’s so refreshing to know that the people living on the street can be put on PAUSE like a good movie that you just have to go to the bathroom in the middle of. Some folks think these human beings are more like a bad movie that will magically go back to Blockbuster if they eject it enough times – possibly forgetting that Blockbuster isn’t a thing anymore… unless you’re in Bend. [Note: We like counselors who follow rules and agendas. We just hate that houselessness isn’t on every agenda until it’s fixed.]  

QUIET CHEERS for the council giving the okay to follow the mandatory statewide program that says you have to allow multi-family buildings into residential areas. Nice to know they have the Governor’s back, we guess. Looking forward to seeing what “middle housing” will look like.  

RAUCOUS CHEERS to the committee filling the vacant seat for House District 23. They DID NOT choose to let Mike Nearman replace himself after he was the first Oregon Representative to be kicked out of the House. The new Representative will be Anna Scharf – a farmer, former lobbyist, and Nearman’s Aide. SCRATCHING OUR HEADS over whether we should trust a lobbyist, but we’re keeping open minds. JEERS to the one vote that did go to Nearman from… nah, we’ve wasted enough bandwidth on the subject.   

MORE SCRATCHING HEADS over what to expect from this farmer turned lobbyist turned Legislative Aide turned Legislator. Anna Scharf has served her community in Amity as a School Board Member, so we know she’s worked her way up the food chain. Looking forward to seeing if she likes to open doors like her former boss…  

TEARS for a wildfire season that’s started too early and already burned away thousands of acres. Follow all eight of the current fires here, then prepare for more.  

We have to give it to the Abster, she is truly following heteronormative gender roles these days, so JEERS to Dear Abby for telling a contributor that he may be the “man of the family” but his wife wears the pants. So what if women in a family talk loud! So what if they talk over this guy who chose to join the family in the first place! It’s 2021 and everyone gets to wear pants… just like everyone gets to wear dresses. HELLOOOO to the Corvallis Gazette-Times for running an antiquated column that has nothing to do with how we live in Corvallis… or Oregon… or maybe even the US. You have the ability to hire an advice columnist of your own if you really need one.  

CHEERS for things opening up. Starting Aug. 1, you can go to the Hatfield Marine Science Center in Newport again. We’re talking touching weird sea creatures, learning about erosion, and discovering how it feels to be on a research vessel. There’s also going to be a birthday to-do for NOAA turning 50… which was actually last year, but, well, you know…