JEERS for our juvenile sense of humor, and CHEERS for the County feeding us fodder. Sooo, they’re rebranding their transit program as Benton Area Transit. Yup, it’s BAT — it stands for, you guessed it, Benton Area Transit. They’ve got a new BAT phone number, a new BAT website, and oh yeah, a new BAT logo sporting the new BAT acronym. Same BAT buses, and yeah, you get the idea… we’re children, let’s just move along….
WAIT, SUBLPLOT: It’s not that simple, services to seniors and folks with disabilities have been renamed BAT Lift, but… Coast to Valley Express and 99 Express keep their names for now. Happily, the website has been changed to RideTheBat.com. Sadly, for satirists at The Advocate, “ride the bat” is not a porn term — and we know this, because we searched for it, because apparently we’re like twelve-year-olds.
JEERS to antimaskers and antivaxxers threatening The Enchanted Forest. People forget this Oregon treasure is a business that’s just trying to make ends meet, and with pandemic lockdowns and weather damages over the last year, it’s been tough. Happily, they were able to schedule a reopening, only asking that guests either show proof of vaccination or don a mask. Sadly, said reopening has been scuttled due to threats of violence from anti-science, anti-business anti-humans who could maybe turn human again with a sweet little forest foray, and maybe a deep breath — hell, maybe they just need a loving touch to the shoulder. Anyhow…
CHEERS to the idea that the vaccinated could go maskless, and the unvaccinated still need to protect themselves and others. This just seems so basically reasonable, what the ACTUAL frick.
AUDIENCE SIGH: The Benton County Fair & Rodeo may be cheesy, but that’s part of its charm, and one of the things we love about it. Also, like a sad pandemic country song, this one’s lost to the Rona until next year.
LAUGHS for potatoheads. Seven counties have voted to secede from Oregon so they can join Idaho, five of them just this last week. And maybe we should just let them go — their countywide vaccination rates are among the worst in the state, all of them in the bottom half, and most in the bottom quarter of the state, it might be a reasonable… oh wait, we wanna keep our Electoral College votes and congressional seats… nevermind.
CHEERS to our humble little county having the highest vaccination rate in the state for another week in a row, and more CHEERS that we moved to Low Risk, which means fewer restrictions. Take that potatoheads… who’s laughing now POTATOHEADS. [No, Toby, you can’t have a Mr. Potatohead!]
JEERS for whatever this is. Apparently, there’s some trend for taking on as much Benadryl as one can swallow because we’ve all lost our crap. Side effects of taking too much Benadryl include death. Doctors are freaked out, poorly written cliché news stories have ensued. Our Managing Editor is threatening to move if she has to get a prescription to buy the Dryl — she’s still annoyed about the whole Sudafed thing.
JEERS to companion bill HB 3273, which would allow police departments to decide if they want to release mug shot photos or not. Given the current questions around policing, not such a great idea, kids.
CHEERS to this week’s repudiation of flame throwing wing-nuts by Corvallis voters. Our community faced the same reductive approach with left-wing Max Mania back in 2018, and this time it was right-wingers Bryce Cleary and Ginger Schudel Larcom, both of whom lost their School Board bids by margins exceeding two to one in Tuesday’s election. Attention future candidates, we Corvallisites tend towards progressives, sometimes we’ll still support a conservative if they’re the right person for the job — but we always demand constructiveness. To the other seven candidates, thanks for keeping it classy.