CHEERS & JEERS: Corvallis’ Hottest School Board Candidate

CHEERS for census news… Oregon scores a sixth congressional district. WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH as negotiations over district lines percolate in Salem. We’re sure it will all be… quite civil. 

CHEERS for freebie PPE to Corvallis businesses. Area biz-folk can pick up the goodies any Friday for the whole month of May. Party favors include masks, gloves, thermometers, and bottles of hand sanitizer. There’s even disinfecting wipes.  

PLOT TWIST: Credit to the humans making the much needed haul for small businesses possible… humans at agencies… agencies with boring names like, the Corvallis-Benton County Economic Development Office and the state version, Business Oregon. Count us as…NOT bored.  

DOUBLE-CHEERS as the aforementioned Ec-Dev folks strike again. This time with low interest loans for sustainable energy conversions at area nonprofits, co-ops, and government-y educational institutions.  Applications are being accepted through May 19.  

JEERS to Bryce Cleary and Ginger Schudel Larcom, both shamelessly politicizing the pandemic in their runs for Corvallis’ school board. Their social media is not only replete with the usual conservative dog whistles, but they make no secret of hating our current electeds sense that prudence is called for in a time of WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC [insert thunder and lightning here]. Cleary should know better, he’s a physician, but then, so are Ben Carson and Rand Paul.  

PLOT BEWILDERMENT over Schudel Larcom. She so loves citing that Alsea schools reopened that we’ve wondered if she knows she’s running in Corvallis… or that the two are different places. In other false equivalency news, Alsea’s district count is 321 students, Corvallis’ count is 6,748. However… 

CHEERS to the other two conservative school board candidates, Rich Arnold and Tim Euhus. Their politics may differ from ours, but in the main, they’re keeping it positive, whilst still making their points. Also, according to one staffer’s cousin, Tim Euhus is… HOT… not that anyone would vote on attractiveness… alone.  

PLOT NOTE: Said staffer’s cousin has no vote on our Editorial Board. Sorry Tim. SUBPLOT: We’ve been known to endorse the occasional conservative, will The Advocate do something weird next week? Stay tuned. 

NERVOUS CHEER as Benton County stays High Risk, while most of the counties surrounding us go Extreme Risk. Which is sorta gross, kinda like cheering because you weren’t hurt ‘as bad’ in the car wreck as your BFFs. Be safe fellow counties. 

CHEERS that our fair little county has the highest vaccination rate in the state… but that wouldn’t have anything to do with our having fewer infections than our neighbors, because vaccines don’t work, right? Really, vaccines just alter your genes, cause autism and give Bill Gates access to your hard drive, yes? Moving right along… 

JEERS for not much diversity among local theater-folk. CHEERS to Corvallis’s school district forming a Theater Diversity Advisory Committee. Pretty much, anyone can sign-up before May 8, and selectees will be announced a week or two later. 

Sincerest of CHEERS to Oregon State University for recognizing Juneteenth as a holiday.  

STANDING OVATION for Oregon State University Professor Rick SpinradHe’ll be running the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. That’s NOAA, people! Why him? Well, because the Biden Administration knows how to pick ‘em. Previously, Spinrad had  been NOAA’s chief scientist under Obama, and even more impressively, he once took an 800 mile walk – which is, in fact, a true story. The good professor now awaits senatorial blessings, we wish him well.