It is a truth universally acknowledged that one who does not want to be roped into a serious relationship with a casual hookup must break it off before February 14. However…
A day with such power should be harnessed.
You see, life is an endless cycle of trying hard things, realizing they are too hard, and then giving up on them. With time, giving up becomes the go-to, an option that comforts those that choose it, protecting them from the harm of riskinganything.
This process is much harder with relationships, as a partner will often suggest you try.
And a relationship is a nice thing to keep around. Having another person to listen about why your day sucked, to keep your feet warm on winter nights, and to cook is handy.
The trick is to appear to try without stretching yourself in any way. Thus, Valentine’s Day is the perfect way to let your partner know you care.
Yes, you already pretend to listen when they talk and you faked that nod that one time. You have bent over to pick up your soiled sock and have learned to occasionally take out the trash to show you do something around the home. None of that screams special.
So, one day a year, order rose petals from Amazon (get the silk ones, they’re cheaper and you can reuse them), find an item shaped like a big heart (think stuffed animal or bedazzled necklace), and sign a Hallmark card “All my love.”
The key here is to really commit to the role. This is the day you post a picture with your significant other captioned “I’m so lucky you’re mine.” Now, bring out the candles and make prolonged eye contact over their favorite dinner.
A compliment to their outfit will go a long, long way.
These plans cost both money and effort, but trust me, the long-term savings are remarkable.
You see, for the rest of the year, your partner will be content with the head nod and the occasional interest in domestic chores. They will be content with the miserly amount of effort you put into that relationship.
Remember! Flowers and a dinner are essential on birthdays or anniversaries, but other than that, the rest of the year should consist almost entirely of whatever you want. No effort required.
After all, if they say you don’t love them, all you have to do is find the old cards, point to the teddy bear gathering dust on the bookcase or that heart necklace that turns their neck green, and say, “Would I have done any of that if I didn’t love you?”