Corvallis Empty Box Store Tour Slated

The Corvallis Emptiness Club offers a full slate of ‘ghost box’ visitations this upcoming Saturday, and all are invited to attend, free of charge. Sponsored by the Oregon State University Modern Archeology School, the tour is made possible by a grant from the Berkshire-Hathaway Real Estate division.

What is a ghost box? Put simply, it’s the shell of a building once occupied by a large box store, or supermarket, or other large footprint business.

“The centrality and beauty of stagnation and unclarity in the human condition wells from these hulks of planted space,” according to Prof. Margret Tindlehopper from OSU’s Emptiness Lab. Most Corvallisites already know Tindlehopper from her work in tin foil.

Corvallis Emptiness Club President Yogi Massamuch says he first fell in love with these spaces as paradoxes in barbarism – but that his appreciation has deepened with each passing year of futility.

Both Tindlehopper and Massamuch agree these space too easily fall into the subconscious of the typical Corvallis passerby.  Tindhopper possibly putting it best while also challenging Massamuch’s insights somewhat, saying, “The beauty of these spaces lies not in their barbaric paradox, but their capacity to tempt fantasies of reinvigorations whilst staying so certainly fallow into seeming perpetuity.”

If you go, do pack a lunch, here’s the tour schedule:

10 am Staples (deceased)

11 am Albertsons (deceased)

12 pm Office Max (deceased across from the living)

1 pm Kmart (terminal)

2 pm Gracewinds (deceased)

3 pm Wow Fitness (little life signs come and go)

4 pm Tibet House (deceased, fading mural, great board-up)

-Satire By April Pool