Linn-Benton Backwash

As Borat might say, Wowaweewaa! A doctor that used to live here, Sydney Piercey, is being sued for bazillions of dollars (give or take 1.9999 bazillions) by another Corvallis doctor, Dina Anderson. Apparently Piercey gave Anderson some wrinkle-busting injections that somehow went haywire, causing vision loss, disfigurement, etc. I won’t go into details, but it sounds pretty gnarly. Facial blowouts and other such things. I had one of those once, but thankfully it turned out I was just on shrooms. Looking down my own throat in the mirror… it wasn’t the best idea I ever had.

Piercey has responded with claims that Anderson caused the injuries herself, through, for lack of a scientific turn of phrase, “doing stuff she wasn’t supposed to do and / or not doing the things she was supposed to do.” As pertaining to the first part of that sentence, there is actually an accusation that Anderson injected other substances into her face off books. Expectedly, Anderson’s lawyer calls the claims that she self-injured total poopycocks. That’s how you spell that, right?

Piercey has called for a jury trial, and that’ll be happening sometime in August.

According to a letter published by The Gazette Times, the lyrical attribution on Rip Cronk’s downtown teddy bear mural should be changed to Radio King, c1936, rather than The Grateful Dead. That’s probably because Norman Span (known as Radio King) actually wrote them. So uh… I think we’ve all learned an important lesson here about the importance of research in art-making. I already knew that lesson, but I learned another one just now on my own: tabouli salad in a spinach wrap with kalamata olives and hummus? #hellyes

I’d go so far as to say that it was scrumdiddlyumptious.

Linn-Benton Backwash is a barely-coherent satire with a teaspoon of white-knighting, a pinch of bald-faced lies, and dash of pooptalk. In other words, don’t take it too seriously – nobody here does; especially the author.

By Sam Campbell