Linn-Benton Backwash: Off the Clock

Who broke their regular season win record? The OSU Beavers, that’s who. No, not me and my wife, you sillybilly! The baseball team. Shutting out Abilene Christian propelled them to the notable record of 46-4, which includes a winning streak of 23 games that also happens to be a record for them. Looks to me like they only lost a few games to break up the monotony of winning. Commendable.

I read an interesting article in the Democrat-Herald that detailed all of the important local Memorial Day events that will be going on. They must have forgotten about the “get sunburnt barbecuing questionable hotdogs while wearing American flag shorts, drinking Coors, and yelling at your kids to ‘put that g*ddamn’ hose down.’” That’s my favorite event of the year in Lebanon, anyway. Though thanks to not knocking out all of my Bacc Core classes earlier in school, I’ll be spending mine finishing a paper that was due the day before. Yay!

Crime Alert: Albany police are looking for a guy with a bad haircut in relation to calls about shots fired in an apartment complex on Marion Street. His name has been listed as Israel Fausto Anaya (cool name; doesn’t match the hair). If you spot a bad haircut that sort of looks like someone shaved a Shadow the Hedgehog wig (part of it fell on his chin, it seems) and they’re going by “Israel,” don’t do anything. But maybe call the Albany police.

Linn County just hit the lowest unemployment rate since 1990: 4.3%. Oregon as a whole is at 3.7%, which is also low – the lowest since the mid-1970s. Of course, this presents some challenges for businesses needing to fill positions, but I’m sure they can take care of themselves. If anyone is up for it, I’d be down for a windmill high five. Believe it or not, I like good news.

By Johnny Beaver