Like mad libs? Of course you do. Try your hand at completing this week’s Linn-Benton Backwash. Scan, print, screen shot, or take a reasonably decent photo, send to firstname.lastname@example.org, and maybe… maybe you’ll see it in print one day…
In a surprise move, local ______ have petitioned ______ city hall, suggesting that policies regarding _____ be rewritten to include clauses for both _______ and _______. It’s like, okay…. I could totally go for a little _____, but what if ________? Personally, I’m a little attached.
While we’re on the topic of ________ stuff, you may have heard about _____________. You also might even care. I don’t, so howabout a joke instead?
::knock knock:: … “Who’s there?” …. “Go ______ yourself.”
I thought it was funny. Anyway…
For a local sports update, the Corvallis _______ were ________ by the ________, 57 to 4. There’s a slight chance I pulled those numbers out of thin air, but I suppose if you cared about facts you’d be reading other parts of this newspaper. Or watching ____________.
The _______ Log: The last week of November was one for the record books. At around noon on the 25th, a ______ was spotted by the _____ police chucking a pair of ______ over a neighbor’s fence. Whether the neighbor _________ it or not seemed besides the point, as the _______ was taken into custody all the same. Ironically, the next day one hell of a large ________ went ________, and wound up spending the next six hours wandering up and down a lonely stretch of Highway 34 in search of a big, red _____________. Oh well, am I right? Like it hasn’t happened to all of us at some point. Throughout the rest of the week several ______ records were broken, primarily in the ______ parking lot and out behind the dumpster at __________. For a second I thought I was back in Florida. Or maybe ________.
By Johnny Beaver