Linn-Benton Backwash: Low Exposure

Last week the residents of Linn and Benton counties were greeted with weather that included air, wind, humidity of some kind, and a revolving cycle of light and dark due to the earth’s position relative to the sun.

On September 13 Oregon coppers went all speed trap on Highway 34 motorists, conducting 74 stops and 35 citations. One lucky winner scored a DUII, and the prize for Highest Speed went to some half-wit doing 92 mph. For those of us that frequent 34, the only part of this that should come as a surprise is the part where only one DUII was issued.

In what might be considered an otherwise slow news week for stuff that’s actually interesting, Albany comes to the rescue with a naked guy having been spotted prancing down Highway 20. Nothing came of it or anything, but he was spotted. That’s good enough for me, especially since the Lebanon public record has been so dry as of late. I mean, besides the guy that was stabbing street poles with a machete near the Mega Foods way back on the 8thClassic.

As per usual, some sports stuff also happened this last week. The Warriors lost to Corvallis at something, but I suppose they have to lose now and again to keep up appearances. Something they also tend to keep up is me… you have no idea how loud a Warriors game or rally gets on the home field. I know the only other thing to get excited about in Lebanon is the occasional new $5 deal at Taco Bell, but could you try keeping it down a little? I’ve got nonsense to write, the caliber of which requires a well-rested brain cell or two. Three, max.

By Johnny Beaver