Linn-Benton Backwash

The big news this last week comes from an Albany City Council meeting in which the folks on hand voted 4 – 2 to dump a proposed change to the Albany Human Relations Commission. What was this vile suggestion? To reflect much needed transformations that are going on in American culture through the addition of words like “diversity” and “equity,” and doing away with the painfully goofy “harmonious.” Councilman Rich Kellum made an especially huge bunghole out of himself by referring to these terms as buzzwords and rattling off occasional proof of his fair-mindedness by letting people know he once had Indian and Mexican friends. Oh, and he hired a lesbian at some point as well. Congratulations? There were other unpleasant individuals there, of course, but positive ones as well. The vote may have gone screwy, but the citizens of Albany aren’t taking this one lying down.

By the way, did you know there was a rodeo at the Linn County Fair last Friday called “Hell on Hooves?” Ten bucks said the animals came up with that name. I heard there was a vendor with a little cow selling four-legged T-shirts that said, “For %#@! sake, just eat me already.” And those were my two jokes, so moving on now.

Oregon State University has had some big news recently, including some kind of ship and somethin’ or other about a fermentation facility. On behalf of myself and others who owe a huge amount of money after graduating… you’re welcome.

A recent article in the Lebanon Express stated that there are indeed camping spots still available in Linn County for the eclipse, but it involves driving to the campground, filling out a form, crossing your fingers, praying, engaging in arena combat, and dipping yourself in honey and then rolling around in an ant pile.