Linn-Benton Backwash The ‘Be More Like Mario Pastega’ Edition

linnbentonbackwash1Last Saturday Corvallis saw the grand opening of the new Samaritan Pastega Regional Cancer Center. There was a harp, free food, and of course also a whole ton of paperwork, staff, gizmos, etc. designed to fight the horrible disease. A sight I’m personally quite happy to see, a lot of the thought into the design of this place seems to promote the quality of living for the patients being treated there. With many long-term care facilities across the nation dropping the hammer on their life enrichment programs, this approach is a breath of fresh air. Though… I am confused about something. What the hell does any of this have to do with pasta? When searching for “Pastega,” I found a man who did many fantastic things for the people around him during his lifetime… but no sign of pasta whatsoever. I sense a greater conspiracy at work.

LBCC has been discussing possible incremental tuition hikes after a three-year period with no such changes to the cost of credits. What is there to really say? It sucks? It’s the cost of freedom, baby. Those European countries that federally fund higher education… not as free. Holy sh*t, I finally understand that “freedom ain’t free” thing. By the way, did you notice we caught the college not being entirely truthy with us again? OK, I don’t pay attention to our website and Facebook updates over the week, either.

On Jan. 19, a man in Albany fired a few shots through the wall of his friend’s house with a pistol. The explanation? There were imaginary people bothering him. The word imaginary was actually from a quote, so what I’m wondering is… why would you shoot at imaginary people? He was busted by the sheriff’s office and cited for mischief, reckless endangerment, and possession of good ol’ methamphetamine. And then of course they released him.

Everyone probably knows this by now, but they caught the two shovel-face %^$#@! from Forest Grove that shot and killed that man outside of the Corvallis Shari’s.

The Lebanon Log… Special Edition: Lebanon newspaper The Lebanon Express has asked for community input on whether or not the city should change its logo. So far there have been just 49 votes, perhaps because nobody actually posted the logo or any information as to why a change might be up for debate. Still, I’m eagerly awaiting the outcome!

The Oregon State Bomb Squad was called out to Lebanon on Jan. 19 after a woman dropped off a box of toys to Goodwill that contained a “gag gift.” Said gift was a smoke bomb (firework) that was painted red and had “dynamite” written on it in pen. Procedure dictates how this was handled, but… I think it’s safe to laugh pretty hard right about now.

By Johnny Beaver