Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1Let me just start this week’s edition by saying: The Beavers played last weekend in Boulder and it did not go well. Despite some claims that they merely had scored so high that it went past infinity and wrapped back around to six, well… no. It basically just went straight to six and stayed there. Now, whether or not deciding to score more than that would have made any difference, who knows. I’m not a seer. If I was, I wouldn’t have wound up with three cats.

On the plus side, with no game I was able to park a lot more easily downtown. Good to know I’m at the “hoorah for parking!” phase of my life. If only one of these damn stations would start running old episodes of Murder She Wrote. That Jessica Fletcher is one hard as* crime fighter. I know what you’re thinking: Is he joking… or not? You just keep on wondering, hot shot. You just do it.

You may have heard something about 800 plus people “playin’ the grade” on Highway 20. Well, I’m here to tell you, folks: Didn’t anyone ever tell you NOT to play in the *&%@! road? I don’t care if it took a decade or so and $365 million (woah… I’m getting that Jurassic Park vibe again) to make it happen. Most of you are adults, act like it. You’re supposed to be high and naked, duh.

There was a big drug bust Lebanon, to which most people have just responded, “Again?” And yeah, again. Good job.

By Johnny Beaver