Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1On the count of three, say your favorite crime: 1… 2… 3.. MENACING! You too? Awesome. Apparently it was another dude’s favorite crime as well, one David Torstei Kvamme, a 51-year-old man of Washington (boo!). The proof? Well, he was walking around near Southwest Bellfountain Road and Plymouth Drive with some big rocks, apparently waving them about in a threatening fashion, somewhat aimed at a farmer.

You know, back in the day we used to handle this kind of sh*t Frankenstein’s monster-style. One farmer gets threatened? The rest show up, in force, armed to the teeth with scythes and pitchforks. Nope, not anymore… not these damn millennial farmers. They were probably all watching from their windows, cellphones in hand, texting something like “OMG LOL WTF, #totalcreeper #sendhelp.” I suppose it wouldn’t be much better around here. If some lunatic came around CA headquarters menacing us with micro-boulders, I would have asked to use the bathroom and then tweeted “ROFL #ranaway #didntwarnthem” as I took off down the alley.

Lebanon High School has revamped their culinary program, and frankly it looks fantastic. I won’t bother you with the details of the setup, the costs, etc. but I’ll share some wisdom. See, programs like this (and Scio’s incoming new forestry digs) are incredibly important because they provide knowledge and support in fields that provide jobs for a workforce that isn’t necessarily “college-graduated” by default. Not only can this offer a jump-start into the job market, but it can spark interest in an area that may spread a student’s wandering eyes to related fields. While there is undoubtedly a lot of criticism to be fielded against a subject like cooking, due to the lack of higher paying jobs and an overabundance of college-level, for-profit culinary schools, I ask those making the criticisms to read the previous sentence. Not only that, but to keep in mind that in job markets with more vibrant downtowns, it is actually possible to go pretty far on one’s skills alone. Good job to all schools in the area that are taking these sorts of initiatives.

The Lebanon Log RETURNS: Aug. 22 was a day people in the Lebanon Plaza will never forget: some crackhead was down there swinging about a machete. On the 23rd somebody ganked an air conditioning unit right out of a window, and then just the next day an entire car from the Walmart parking lot. I like to picture some dude actually dragging it off.

By Johnny Beaver