Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1Defense attorney John Rich has withdrawn from representation of one Brooklyn Shepard, of Shari’s restaurant shooting fame. Why? Nobody knows. Rich cited some sort of conflict, but hasn’t explained to anyone publicly what that conflict is.

Local, state, and federal scientists have issued a statement that the risk of fire actually goes up, the hotter it gets. Please, by all means… go home, comfort your families. Just drop the paper where you stand… we will understand. The world has changed forever.

Corvallis’ Ruby Tuesday has apparently closed as part of a mass-closing the company ordered recently. Honestly, I’ve lived in Corvallis for about four years and I had no clue we had a Ruby Tuesday. I can’t even tell you where it was. One thing I will say, though: good riddance to another sh*tty chain. And if it must be replaced with another, let’s at least get a Sweet Tomatoes up in here.

Christine Rayburn of Albany is a ridiculously nice woman. She volunteers a large portion of her free time, and has now upped the ante by propping up a small crate in her front lawn with the words (among others) “Take what you need! Give what you can!” A short time later, the structure was overflowing and had even been expanded to hold more items. Food, baby items, shoes, you name it—all donated so those in need can take what they… need. No vandalism has been reported yet (Just like those damn free libraries! What’s wrong with you people? It’s a box, poop in it! Good lord…), which I can’t say about the box of vegetables left at my apartment complex’s array of mailboxes. Rayburn has plans to expand her box, as well as get others to create their own. She says she wants to put Albany on the map, which would be great, because people might stop thinking of it as “that town that keeps dumping money into an unending carousel project, oh and also has that really awesome sushi place, Ginza.”

By Johnny Beaver