Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwashDo you feel like the intersection of Seven Mile Lane and Highway 34 needs a light? Congratulations, you’re like the other 100,000 people that feel the same way. I personally know of three people that nearly died in severe accidents there—three people that were far luckier than those who have died (you can’t scroll down in Google very far without finding an incident). The long overdue project is going to cost just over $950,000, which seems well worth it.

Word on the street is that attendance to the Benton County Fair & Animal Roping Extravaganza is way up from last year—some sources are reporting as much as a 50% increase. Just think of how much it will increase next year once they have permits for putting LSD in the water supply. Oh, and we can’t forget the hooker booth.

Some suspicious dude in Lebanon caught the attention of a police officer and led him on a chase down Santiam Highway, then along some back roads, and vrooom! out onto another road. He eventually went through a gate and two fences, drove into a creek bed, jumped out, hid in the bushes… aaaaaand… was taken down by a K9 unit. Not the best police chase I’ve ever heard of, but a dog, some fences, and back roads… I give it a 7.0.

Albany police recently discovered tunnels and caves dug out in Simpson Park, suspected to be used as makeshift homes. They are vast enough to have destabilized the roots of several large trees, which now have to be pulled out and replaced.

A Pokemon Go downtown event is not something you’d normally associate with Lebanon, but that didn’t stop them from stepping up to the plate, certainly outdoing Corvallis’ Pokemon-related interaction. Sponsored by the Lebanon Downtown Association, shopkeepers put out “lures,” items that help spawn Pokemon for catching in the immediate area, dragging in customers for sales they wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Word has it that a fairly sizable population showed up to shop and explore the downtown.

By Johnny Beaver