Corvallis Among Drunkest Cities… We Can Do Better

crazy-drunk-man-1Corvallis should be ashamed of itself. A recent article from a website called 24/7 Wall St. ranked Corvallis the 20th drunkest city in America. Almost one-quarter of all adults in Corvallis reported excessive alcohol consumption on a regular basis. But we can do better. The next time there’s a listing of America’s drunkest cities, Corvallis should easily be able to binge its way into the 15th spot or better.

It will take hard work and commitment from all of us—not just OSU students—to push our way up in the ranks. Just a few more annual deaths of people under age 75 and we can easily overtake Iowa City, Iowa. After that, just one-tenth of a percentage point separates us from Lincoln, Nebraska for amount of excessively drinking adults. It is an uphill climb, which is hard for anyone who has already had a few, but Corvallis could still stumble its way to victory.

Make no mistake, we are the underdogs in this contest. Wisconsin is home to 12 of the top 20 drunkest cities; they are the Goliath to our David, the 30-rack domestic to our solo craft reserve. Corvallis is even singled out on the front page of the list as the only ranking city with less than the national average of 1.6 bars for every 10,000 residents.

Faced with such odds, Corvallis must turn to its strengths to survive. Replace that water with local  wine, embrace the Oregon craft brew bounty, or just buy a case of something cheap to celebrate that thing you did once. Raise a glass and raise our rank.

By Kyle Bunnell