The Albert Square, Hi Ho Silver, Away! and Adieu Caribou, Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m.
Corvallis DIY, my favorite purveyors of punk in the state, are back with more shows. This time they’re bringing in The Albert Square from San Jose to rock some faces off. Fair warning: These guys rep the ‘Zae hard. Do not make fun of San Jose, or make denigrating remarks about the Sharks. These dudes do not find it funny. They’ll be supported by one of my genuinely favoritest local acts, Hi Ho Silver, as well as Adieu Caribou. I’m not sure if this show is free or not, but frankly, I don’t care. Please take this check. I’ve filled out all the important parts and left the amount blank. That should cover things, right?
Wilhelmina, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
We’ve covered young up-and-coming phenom Wilhelmina Frankzerda before. And she’s back at the ‘Gine without her partner (with whom she makes up the band Paper Wings) but, and I’m only assuming here, with her violin. She’s a star in the making, and someday you’ll be mortgaging your scooter for tickets to her sold-out show at Reser Stadium. For now, you can still elbow your way past some ornery locals to see her for free. Live in the now.
The Spanish Guitar: From the Streets to the Concert Stage, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $16 to $18
Berto Boyd, James Edwards, Grant Ruiz, Jon Sharp, and Tom Strini: five guys who know how to play guitar. If you read that first sentence in Howard Cosell’s voice it sounds more authoritative and wise. These are five guys who know a thing or two about the delicate art of Spanish guitar, and they’re going to take you on a ride, presumably on the back of a sonic Andalusian stallion, through the history of Spanish guitar. If you think you can pass on OSU faculty and Corvallis Guitar Society heavyweights converging like this, I’m not sure we’re prioritizing your time properly. Fortunately this show is booked for two nights (it plays again on Saturday night) because it’s probably already near sold-out. Don’t miss the night of guitar that goes so well with tapas, it might as well be my portly uncle.
Revolt Revolt and Mosley Wotta, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
This should prove to be an interesting pairing. Like fish and a pinot noir. Revolt Revolt is a fun postmodern/garage/soul/indie band and Mosley Wotta is Oregon’s finest purveyor of hippie hop. Together they will put on a show that people who remember the ’90s will undoubtedly enjoy. I am one of those people, so I’ll be in effect. I’ll be wearing an Archers of Loaf shirt and I’ll have Tribe on a cassette in my Walkman. And I may break out my Jncos. Let’s do this mess.
Jason Webley and Dance Mandal, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 2945 NW Circle Blvd. 7 p.m.
Jason Webley is an accordion-playing dynamo who rose from busking on the streets to dressing as Amanda Palmer’s conjoined twin. And he’s here with Portland’s Dance Mandal to bring joy to your miserable faces. Webley plays accordion and guitar and ukulele and all sorts of whimsical stuff. Dance Mandal is a Buddhist dancing organization, and I honestly don’t have a clue what that’s like. So all in all this is going to be a fun, entertaining, and educational experience. So obviously I’ll be skipping it to go throw rocks at bicyclists down by Avery Park. But since you’re no dummy, and your bike is in the shop (from an unrelated rock-hitting accident last week), you should go to this show. Which might be free for all I know…
Wups, Captain Wails and the Harpoons, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Unknown Cover… Spooky
Wups is one of my favorite bands in town, and if Neil Gaiman’s conjoined brother-in-law weren’t playing the same night, you know this show would be getting top billing. Captain Wails and the Harpoons are a hard rock act out of Salem that should set the stage nicely for Wups’ brand of funky rockadelia. Interestingly, WUPS is the classic rock station of northern Michigan; 98.5 WUPS is the only station I rock when I’m headed to Mackinac Island. And Wups is the only funk-fusion band I rock when I’m on my way to Corvallis. Dig?
Corvallis Youth Symphony Spring Concert, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 3 p.m. $2 to $12
Tchaikovsky, Grieg, and Glinka are on the menu for the CYS Spring Concert. I played in a youth symphony similar to this one when I was a kid. Back in Cleveland. Back when there was a Cleveland, if you know what I mean. I’m kidding, of course; you couldn’t possibly know what I mean. But I can tell you that the atmosphere in youth symphonies is electric. It’s all hormones and Vivaldi and ADD and braces in a cyclone of performing excellence. If you don’t want to see that on stage, I just don’t know you anymore…
Majestic Reader’s Theatre The Forest for the Trees & Intemperate Degrees, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 & 7 p.m. $10 to $12
A pair of one-act plays on the environment from Leslie Hogan are on the docket for this installment of Reader’s Theatre. The Forest for the Trees features the words of a host of early leaders in conservationism, like Eleanor Roosevelt and John Muir, talking about the struggle. Intemperate Degrees is a comedy about climate change that features a band of actors trapped in a playhouse with an overactive furnace. I love Reader’s Theatre, and there couldn’t be a more critical time for you to stop by and join the party. Please remember that it’s not nice to mock the players who move their lips when they read. That’s a totally normal thing that some people do and they deserve your respect.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
I saw Bryson play last week. His piano skills were on full display and a grateful crowd ate it up like birdseed. And let’s just say, if you were going to his show expecting to see him constantly thanking me for driving crowds to him, and you were maybe scared it would ruin the flow of the music or something, don’t sweat it. He definitely does not overdo it on the thanking me tip. Too bad, because here’s another reason to thank me; I came up with a good name for his weekly show at Imagine. The ExSkaarvaGineza. What? No good? It’s a soft “G.”
Clippers vs. Trailblazers, Game 4, Meet’n Place, 1150 Main St., Philomath. 7:30 p.m. Free
No offense to Joey at the Darkside, but by the time this Monday night rolls around, the Blazers may well be down 3-0 facing first-round elimination at the hands of the Clippers. That’s actually just the time the team needs you most, so considering there’s literally not a single planned event in town other than this game and Bryson, I’m encouraging all the townsfolk who won’t be at the ‘Gine to join me in my backyard in Philomath to watch some playoff basketball and root for the home-ish team. Meet’n Place is a fantastic little bar to watch basketball in, squander your inheritance on video lottery, or get stabbed in, and I live like a block away, so meet you there at like 7? Tell the bartender I sent you. He has no idea who I am.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
Making his third, and perhaps spookiest, appearance yet at CMNYK, Vincent Price stars in the 1959 horror ultra-classic, House on Haunted Hill. There will be live music before the feature as Justin Schepige (DTW, Van Meyers) and Kevin Van Walk (Van Meyers) play along with a silent short film. There will be newsreels, cartoons, and all sorts of other crazy stuff and the whole thing is free. I mean, other screenings would have to literally be showing Monty Python and the Holy Grail or something in order for you to skip this one…
Celtic Jam, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Well, the Hawks won game one, but I tend to think the gang here at Corvallis’ favorite Irish music jam aren’t discouraged. Perhaps if I tell you how I psych up for Celtic Jam that will help you get in the mood. I normally would watch Patriot Games or Blown Away and then get all jacked up on movie stereotypes and disrupt the performance. Fortunately now I have to host Movie Night over at the Majestic, so you ought to be able to enjoy the lovely free music at Celtic Jam without me Dropkick Murphys-ing the whole place.
KRKT & Oregon Jamboree Mystery Concert, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7 p.m. $20
I’m a little unclear on what’s happening here exactly. Is this just a regular concert and the performer is being kept a secret? Or will it actually be a murder mystery concert where someone pretends to get murdered and the rest of the audience has to solve the crime? Because I’ll tell you the latter sounds fabulous. The former sounds less interesting. Plus it’s not a “mystery,” just a secret. Plus what if they secretly suck? Wow, this whole endeavor is fraught with peril. I’m out. But for $20, you can still be in. But tickets are dwindling… What? Really? Yes.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Whiteside Theater, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $5 to $7
F*ck. Well, it seems they do have Monty Python and the Holy Grail this week. So I can only imagine you don’t need my cracking wise to plan your movie-going week here. But let me just say this: the first person who makes a clippity-clop noise in my ear with a coconut is getting punched out. This film needs no introduction, and you’re in luck, because it won’t be getting one. The comedy that launched a million comedy troupes and distracted a billion awkward teens from the sex they weren’t having. On the big screen. Now’s your chance to check off that bucket-list item. No, not an Eyes Wide Shut party, the other movie-themed one.
Three for Silver and Vandfald, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Bombs is tossing you a Thursday freebie with a beer tasting followed by local favorites Vandfald and Portland roots-sters Three for Silver. This is a good, solid show that I would recommend to not only beginning show-goers, but also veterans of the standing-there-listening-to-local-bands-play scene. Also, buy some merch, because it’s how these guys eat. I mean, other than their day jobs which are probably as coders or some other job where they make insanely good money… You know what? In fact, if anything, these guys should pay you a cover! Am I right? No? Oh, OK, very well then. Just go, I guess.
McLintock! Marys River Grange Movie Night, 24707 Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Free
It’s John bleep bleepin’ Wayne. For free, at the homey-est grange on the Western seaboard. The Duke and Maureen O’Hara star in the old-fashioned western comedy romp that also features a young Stefanie Powers and the Duke’s son, Patrick Wayne. If you don’t know what’s happening at your local grange, you are just missing out. There’s never been a better time to join up, and never been a better event to get your feet wet at. One dollar bottomless popcorn and free classics with newsreels and cartoons, for free. Yeah, it’s pretty much perfect.