8 Days a Week

TheyCame_Thursday7Thursday, 7

They Came from Somewhere, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. $12 to $14

This incredibly fun-looking play from the Santiam Christian players is primed to explode at the Majestic. Sorry about that heated description, but I thought it might be fun to use TMZ-ian, Twitter-inspired marketing speak to describe this play about the effects of an alien invasion on a small Texas town. It’s slam-bam fleeced-up comedy about fish out of water when these Texans meet New Yorkers and really think they’re out of this world. Or something like that. I could legitimately write a six-part, adolescent-aimed sci-fi novella series using only that type of nonsense. And they’d definitely make a movie franchise out of it.

Free Range Open Mic Night, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

The open mics don’t get any freer than this location-switching weekly jam. Come bring your six-string and your songs about getting dumped and prove to everyone that you have what it takes. Alternatively you could try and bust out a solo a cappella thing here and see how that goes over. I’m thinking “not well,” but you shouldn’t really use me as a metric. The first time someone played Adele for me, I was all, “Yeah, I guess that’s pretty good, it’s just—BOOOOOOOOO!” I’m what you might call “a bit of a douche.”

Friday, 8

Gangstagrass, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m.

Cloud & Kelly’s really pulls in some big-name acts out of nowhere sometimes. And it usually turns out it’s because the band loves coming back to play the little venue. I don’t know, I’ve been there, and other than the life-changingly good times I’ve had there, I just don’t see it. This time it’s Gangstagrass, who’ve played C&K’s before, bringing their semi-popular and fun brand of bluegrass-infused hip-hop to Corvallis. Of course no 90-word blurb about the band would be complete without a lazy reference to the fact that they wrote and performed the bonkers-catchy theme song to the popular FX show Justified. I see them long hard times to come… by which I mean I’m not sure if this show is free or not…


Sublimities, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. $5

Mark Lemhouse’s surf rockers The Sublimities are one of my favorite bands to come around here. In fact, if they had composed and performed the theme song to a popular FX show, I would have even given them top billing here and called this my show of the week. But unfortunately they did not. Thanks a lot, FX. But seriously, if you love Link Wray and the Ray Men or any of the other fine rockers of that tradition, you’re really going to enjoy the Subs. These guys are awesome. And mildly grizzled. Me likey.


Saturday, 9

Human Ottoman and Kulululu, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5

Human Ottoman is one of the best and most unique bands to play around here, and you should already know that. If you’re into bizarre and experimental, yet surprisingly poppy and accessible, art-rock, this outfit will fit you just right. Meanwhile Kulululu is the goddamn kitty’s titties. I love this odd Portland import which infuses punk with a They Might Be Giants-ian intelligence and multi-instrumental fun and a dose of straight noisy experimental nutsiness. Show of the week for sure here. For $5? That’s a bargain and a half, unless of course you prefer free… which I can’t blame you for.



Bush Pilots, Calapooia Brewing, 140 Hill St. NE, Albany 8 p.m. Free

One of my favorite local acts hits up the ‘Pooia for a night of classic rock, originals, bluegrass, jazz, fusion, and all sorts of other goodies. Are they charging anything to hear their jingle jangling? No. That would be against their bushy ways. Or at least, against the ‘Pooia’s. Quick thought: has anyone ever considered having a disc golf beer-league where the tournaments are played by the Bush Pilots? It would be called… wait for it… Bush League. You’re welcome. And I only want a five percent cut.


Sunday, 10

Martin Gerschwitz, Redgate Vineyard, 8175 Buena Vista Rd., Independence. 1 p.m. $10

Whoa, what the hell? Martin Gerschwitz live? Just how the hell did they book my dad’s orthopedist to play at a winery in Independence? This just sounds odd. Oh wait, you mean to say it’s international recording star Martin Gerschwitz? Former keyboardist for Lita Ford, Meatloaf, Vanilla Fudge, and Iron Butterfly? In-a-gadda-da-what-the-f*ck? The Martin Gerschwitz will be playing some of his solo hits and reading from his book, which I can only hope is a murder mystery, and if you can’t make it to this show, don’t worry; he’s also playing the Redgate Vineyard Fieldhouse on April 9, April 29, and April 30. Like a bat out of hell…


Tony Furtado and Peter Mulvey with Anna Tivel, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $14 to $16

This is the Corvallis equivalent of that Big 4 tour with Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, and Megadeth. All three of these artists have played at the Majestic before, and Furtado and Mulvey are frequent headliners. This time they’re joining forces with new-ish local folk-force-to-be-reckoned with, Anna Tivel. If you like folk, adult contempo, soft rock, and people with great voices, this is going to be a great show for you. If you prefer terrible singers, bad smells, distortion, and curse words, you probably don’t need to spend your money on this one.




Monday, 11

Science Pub, Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 6 p.m. Free

Old World Deli is doing two things really well right now: Science Pub and sandwiches. And since these are two of my favorite things in the world, you know I’m going to be in effect for this next installment of Corvallis’ smartest sandwich gathering. I think the science part is about gut bacteria. Or maybe I’m just really hungry… either way, this is going to solve all of your problems. And it’s free. And it’ll make you smart, did I mention that? Because smart is the new… well, not sexy, but it’s definitely “the new” not-ugly. So if you’re passably attractive, you’re going to want to brain up a bit, and if you’re ugly, let me just tell you… our table’s at the back, see you there.

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

Can I make a polite suggestion for the name of Bryson’s (hopefully forthcoming) debut album? Skaared for Life. Am I right? I know, I missed my true calling as a soulless marketeer, but for reals, people; that’s just gold. Bryson will be back at the ‘Gine using his fingers to make everything sound just right, and tantalizing our earholes with the smooth jazz sounds that drive the blue-hairs wild. If you haven’t been to this weekly free show yet, I can’t officially say you’ve been to Corvallis yet.


Tuesday, 12

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

CMNYK is bringing the big names out as we roll into the summer and approach the momentous two-year anniversary. This week we get Kirk Douglas in a two-fisted romantic western epic that sprawls across the Pacific Northwest. Hey, I’ve heard of that place. If you’re not down with CMNYK, you’re not down with me. And that’s just not a place I’d want to be. And despite those last two sentences coincidentally making up what would be excellent lyrics to a pop rock song from the mid-90s, I’m deadly serious about them as sentences. They come from my heart. Free lost and classic movies with newsreels, cartoons, live music, and more, every week. Don’t be a dummy.


2016 Authors Lectures: David Biespiel, Grass Roots Books, 227 SW 2nd St. 6 p.m. Free

David Bie will be here to do his Spiel, if I’m reading this press release correctly. Or wait, is Biespiel his last name? That makes more sense. And less hackish writing. Biespiel is a poetry rock star who also teaches at OSU and will be talking the craft as well as reading some poetry and prose at this fun-sounding event. I endorse this event despite the natural letdown you’re going to feel when you walk into Grass Roots for the first time and realize it isn’t a dispensary.

Wednesday, 13

Foster Body, Dumb Luck, and Martin, Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m.

Corvallis DIY really likes SLC Punk. So much that they’ve actually booked a punk band from the great Salt Lake to come to Oregon and blast our faces off. I encourage you to join them. But only if you like the punk. There’s acoustic open mic nights and like 900 Americana bands to choose from if you don’t want the distortion to shred your face. I will be there, preparing for my handsome mug to take on the power chords. Locals Dumb Luck and Martin will be playing as well. Is this show free? Who knows? “Don’t bring cash,” I always say…


The Adventures of Robin Hood, Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $5

The Whiteside’s wildly successful and radical idea to show classic movies every week continues to bear fruit. This week, beware because the fruit might get stolen and given to somebody in even more need than you. It’s The Adventures of Robin Hood, the uber-legendary 1938 version that cemented Errol Flynn as the definition of dashing. Interestingly it also cemented Robin Hood in the collective consciousness as some sort of tax-redistributing messiah, and not the exceptionally poorly run non-profit organization that the Merry Men, LLC really were.

Thursday, 14

Acoustic Open Mic Night, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

This acoustic jam sesh is one of many local outlets for musicians to get on stage and it’s brought to us by the fine ‘Gine folks in conjunction with Ralph Penunuri, a local musician and musical bringer-togetherer. Is this the open mic night for you to dust off your yodeling chops at? Probably not, because please remember, you’re the worst. But everyone else, this is definitely the open mic night for you. See what I did there? I’m fostering a healthy atmosphere of self-hatred and doubt that will inevitably foster you to become a better musician. You’re welcome.

DJ Keyst1, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Yikes, I can’t even sound remotely intelligent while describing the music of a DJ like Keyst1 in a short space like this. What I do know is that he was a top five finalist in a competition for best college DJ that aired on ESPN. He’s basically Corvallis’ favorite son, so it would be utterly bananas for you to not go check out his show, or DJ set, or whatever the proper term for it is. It will undoubtedly be the t1ts, and a gr8 time, if I understand the genre correctly…