8 Days a Week…

Patrimony_Friday18Thursday, 17

Meet the Author: Philip Margolin, Corvallis-Benton County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m. Free

Have you ever read a Margolin book? Are you breathlessly awaiting the next installment in the Amanda Jaffe series? Well, there’s never been a better time to start, as Margolin will be at the library in person toting signed copies of his newest installment, Violent Crimes. Sounds spooky and violent. Just like pretty much every Thursday night for me, so this will be great. I haven’t really followed any newer crime novel series in a while, but this Jaffe lady seems to know how to solve a mystery. Violent Crimes marks the fifth go-around for Jaffe, an attorney in Portland who it is to be assumed solves mysteries when she’s not shopping for vintage furniture and getting a tattoo of a plant with an animal sitting in it.


Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

Curtis Monette is the sound of springtime. As the new blossoms… blossom, so too do Curtis’ wild guitar styles—er, bloom. Look, Curtis plays every month for free. And I’m pretty sure he played in Blookie last week, and that was just preposterous. His solo act is this loop-filled shreddy, jammy mess of a thing that rules. And he’s great. And you’re great. And I don’t want to toot my own horn here, but I’m pretty great, too. Why don’t all of us get together at Curt’s next show? It’s Thursday and it’s free. Did I just blow your mind? No? Well then… how embarrassing this must be… for you. Aaaaaaand stage freeze!


Friday, 18

Patrimony and Light Thieves, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Patrimony is my jam. Well, factually speaking, boysenberry and The Jam are my jams, but in a pretty distant third is these guys. If you’ve never seen them out around town rocking faces off, my guess is you moved here in the last 15 minutes. Because these dudes play out a lot. Light Thieves are in from Fresno toting a brand of psychelic “space rock” that is alright with me. I’m pretty easy going that way. In fact I can’t even remember the last time I “wasn’t alright” with a band…



Blue Evolution, Calapooia Brewing Co., 140 Hill St. NE, Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Are you in the mood for a bluesy, funk-infused ‘splosion of sounds that can be described as “in the mold” of bands like the Grateful Dead and the Allman Brothers? Well good news, because you live in the right quadrant of the country for that. Here, why don’t you try throwing a rock out your window and see if you don’t hit the bassist of a local blues/funk band. Also good news: Blue Evolution will be in from Salem this week, so you don’t have to find any rocks. And if you’re wondering how good they are, let me just say this: try living in Salem for a month and not making the blues. It’s literally impossible. Salem is a sh*thole.


Saturday, 19

Red Cloud and Will’s Odyssey, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $10

I’ve never seen Red Cloud before, but Will’s Odyssey kicks f*cking a*s and shreds like cray. So based on the normal show at Bombs, one would naturally assume that means Red Cloud is an Americana band with mandolin to spare… but wait, it’s a head fake; Red Cloud is some of Eugene’s finest stoner metal. Prepare for fuzzy bongwater-flavored shredding from one of the best and most fun bands to come through here all year. This is a no-brainer show-of-the-week right here. I’m going to go goddamn ape-sh*t in the pit at this show… let’s just get that straight immediately.



The Plaehn-Hino Blues Band, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 8 p.m.

The Plaehn-Hino band is crazy deep in the Corvallis roots music scene. You’ve undoubtedly seen either Jeff Hino or Dave Plaehn playing somewhere in town, so you also undoubtedly know they’re legit. There’s also a rumor they will be playing this gig regularly every other Saturday at Cloud’s, so no need to send them an apology card if you miss this show. Alternatively, the Trump ascension to the throne could cause the entire universe to swallow itself in a bid for rationality, in which case this coming Saturday could theoretically be their last gig. Better not miss it, just in case…


Sunday, 20

Idiot Box, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 2:30 p.m. $12 to $14

The Majestic is continuing their thrilling forays into live local comedy with this sketch show that looks bananas. Michael Winder and Jeremy Resnick wrote this very throwbacky 70’s feeling Kentucky Fried Movie on stage which imagines a dude watching a TV in an alternate universe where presumably the things on the screen are funny and don’t urge you to buy Viagra. Or maybe they do, I actually haven’t seen it yet, and some Viagra commercials acted out at the Majestic could be a nice way to entertain and earn some marketing revenue. Just a thought…


Monday, 21

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

If this were DC Bizarro world issue of Bryson Skaar’s free weekly jazz piano gig at the ‘Gine, it would likely be Brian Sklar, and he’d be playing techno keys for a rapt audience of 17-year-olds that I hate. See what I did there? In Bizarro world everything is the opposite. And the opposite of 17-year-olds I hate is 123-year-olds I love. And that’s precisely who you can expect to see packing out the crowd at a Skaar show.


Traditional West African Dance Classes, Oddfellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. 7:15 p.m. $10 to $12

Fefafe will bring the rhythms, you just bring your body and a will to dance. And $10 to $12 on a sliding scale. And deodorant, because let’s face it; you don’t smell that great before you start shaking everything you have. I’m going to be totally honest here and bare my heart; I’ve never actually been to this event, despite pushing it on and off for a couple years now. Will that change this week? Only time will tell… oh wait, no, definitely not. I’ve got other plans. But you’re waaaaaay less popular than me, right? So… time to learn to dance? Perhaps that will earn you the friendships your personality could not.

Tuesday, 22

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

David Niven, in all his dapper foppish glory, will return to CMNYK for a third time in 1944’s The Way Ahead (aka The Immortal Battalion) and the pedigree’s so thick on this one, it could enter a dog show. Written by the legendary Peter Ustinov, directed by the incomparable master Carol Reed and starring Niven, this film is an absolute knockout about World War II. Miss it at your peril… by which I mean cultural peril. That’s not a physical threat if you miss this screening. I want to be absolutely clear about that…


Timba Tuesday, Impulse Bar & Grille, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

Pretty much the only thing that can get me to set foot in Impulse is Timba Tuesday. Let me put it to you this way: salsa dancing > college-aged douches getting their electronic music on. So if you feel me on that tip, I think you’re going to recognize the imperative to hit up this weekly dance party with Corvallis’s resident salsa dance experts, Rumbanana. Obviously I’m still the region’s premier salsa dip expert, and here’s a pro tip on that front, no judgments: Pace picante sauce. It’s terrible, but still sort of great. Like all of us.

Wednesday, 23

James Wilson, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

James Wilson is a beast. A traditional Celtic jamming beast. He came from Corvallis, fled to Sacramento, and now he’s back to chase the snakes out of Corvallis. As a fellow mando player, I’m stoked about this. As a fellow Oregon/California hedger, I’m stoked about this. As a mortal enemy of James Wilson who has been biding his time for an opportunity to challenge him on stage, I’m stoked about this. I feel like I’ve given you plenty of reasons why I’ll surely be there. The only question is, will you? Did I mention it’s free? OK, see you there.


Princess Bride, Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $5

I’m going to say something just ridiculously unpopular here, and it may get me some death threats, so if you don’t hear from me next week, worry. Are you ready? The Princess Bride is absurdly overrated. I mean honestly. It’s good, it’s funny, it’s adventurous and beautifully produced. It’s narrated by my personal god and spirit animal, Peter Falk, in a weird homage to Abbott & Costello’s Jack and the Beanstalk. These are all things I like. Here are the things I can do without: you insufferable squeebs constantly telling me your name is Inigo Montoya and that I should prepare to die. Some things, like this movie and basically every Monty Python sketch ever, really don’t get better with age. But you can still see this 80’s uber-classic on the big screen at the Whiteside, so let’s not insult each other and pretend you’re not going to be camping out for tickets to this.

Thursday, 24

Hot Buttered Rum with Front Country, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $15 to $18

Hot Buttered Rum is the tits. Is that OK to say? Are we still allowed to share honest emotions like that? Or is this some weird science-fiction alternate reality where fascism has made it so I can’t use the word tits. Regardless, HBR is on fire right now after successfully crowdfunding their ambitious 3 Eps project and releasing the first of the promised records to great acclaim. This roots music outfit is basically built to play the Majestic, so you kind of owe it to them to show up. That’s how it works, right?


Brutal Bridges Band, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Now, on the other hand, if you like your roots music a little more local and a little more free of charge, Brutal Bridges has got your back. BBB hasn’t played around town in a little bit, so it’s nice to see them back on Monroe Avenue for a night of lively foot-stomping music. Also nice to see back on Monroe for a night of lively foot-stomping: prostitutes. I know, it may not sound like something to see, but until you’ve enjoyed a scantily clad young gigolo tap dancing in front of Mike’s Jersey Subs for customers, you sort of haven’t really lived yet. In unrelated news, I’ll probably be hanging out in front of Mike’s Jersey Subs a lot for the next few weeks…