The Raccoons, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
This folk act out of Salem is just upbeat and bouncy enough for you to go to the show and come out thinking you got your money’s worth. And the same cannot be said about many folk acts. Most of the time you’re looking for a partial refund on the cover charge and/or fist fighting with the bassist in the parking lot after the show. Not with the Raccoons. These fun-loving and handsome young gents are here to spark a fire in your heart with the glint off their teeth when they smile wide on stage… or so a more bizarre and unhinged writer than myself might put it. Also there’s a 60% chance these guys follow you home and tip over your trash cans, get it? Because raccoons love meth.
Marys River Grange Movie Night, Marys River Grange Hall, 24707 Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Free
It’s Bob Hope on the big-ish screen at the next installment of Philomath’s medium-popular free movie night. We’re watching My Favorite Brunette (1947) with newsreels, cartoons, and other goodies. It’s just like Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, only it’s exactly the same and it’s at the Marys River Grange. Church pew seating, fresh unlimited popcorn for $1, getting to meet the wonderful people that make up our community, and it all happens at one of the coolest spots in town? There is literally no downside to this… other than the lottery.
Left Coast Country and McDougall, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
Left Coast Country are a bunch of Oathkeepers who sing songs about how much they love their guns and how much they want to limit government. Just kidding, they’re probably a bunch of hippies. McDougall is a one-man, Americana-spewing whirlwind, but he’s also kind of awesome. I admit at first I was getting ready to say something sort of quippy, but McDougall is pretty fun. This show could be pretty fun, too. Unless you ruin it, with your complaining… and your violent spasms of rage-zombie-ing.
Kiss Me Kate, Withycombe Main Stage, 2901 SW Campus Way. 7:30 p.m. $12 ($10 for seniors, $8 for youths, $5 for OSU students)
I can’t pretend to be a “musicals guy.” So I won’t. Breaking into song instead of good solid exposition and subtext has just always struck me as lazy. So I’m not traditionally that into them. I have a friend on Facebook who is super-into musical theater, and not for nothing, but his wife is leaving him. So… I guess I feel like that totally justifies me in ranking this second behind that McDougall show for things to do this Friday. But I guess that was sort of an over-explanation, huh? Fine then. This is from OSU Theatre, and they’re great. Go to this. Happy?
Goldfoot and The Kosmos, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
Goldfoot is back, and they’ve got their funky mid-week happy hour type of sound with them. If I had a nickel for every lonely office drone who bagged the co-worker they were secretly lusting after at a Goldfoot show over discounted well drinks, I’d have a legitimate crap-ton of nickels. Like $3.65, minimum. Goldfoot plays mistake-making music; hot jams for you to make a crucial life error to with a person you’re going to have to see at work again tomorrow. Yayuuuuuhhhh… Oh, also Kosmos will be playing this show. I’m not sure anyone ever got laid to the sounds of Kosmos, but it’s hard to imagine nobody has. You know, because they also make hot ‘n’ sexy baby-factory jamz.
Ghost Fuzz and Arcweld, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 12th St. 10 p.m. Free
Has Arcweld been around for almost 30 years? That doesn’t seem possible, but a cursory Internet search contends that it is so. Ghost Fuzz is playing a couple times this week, and I’m down with that. They’ve got a very mid-90s Epitaph-ian sound that I’m all about. I would go drink some booze and listen to these guys play. And that’s just in a hypothetical world. Here in the real world I’m definitely going to go see them play and I may also rob a casino in a high-tech homage to 500 Miles to Graceland, one of the more underrated heist-comedies of the early 2000s. Because I’m dedicated. And I love pop-punk. And Kurt Russell.
Picasso at the Lapin Agile, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 2:30 p.m. $14 to $16
Picasso and Einstein walk into a Bahr. Matt Bahr, former placekicker for the Cleveland Browns, to be precise. Everyone involved excuses themselves politely and then they go on their way. Later, a rabid and deranged Steelers fan accosts Mr. Bahr, causing grave insult to him and his family with foul language and illustrative examples. Picasso turns to Einstein and says, “I have no idea who that guy is, because we both died such a long time ago, but this is a funny situation.” Einstein replies, “Holy crap dude, you look a lot like a young Donald Sutherland. Did they ever consider having him play you in a movie?” That’s it. End of joke. To see jokes and dialogue far superior to that involving Einstein and Picasso, please catch Picasso at the Lapin Agile on this, its last show at the Majestic.
Corvallis-OSU Symphony Orchestra: The Final Frontier, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 3 p.m. $20 online, $20 to $32
I had some hopes that the “final frontier” in question was some sort of frontier-themed music? I don’t know, like the Davy Crockett theme… or… huh, this is embarrassing. I guess I didn’t really have anything else in mind besides the Davy Crockett theme playing on a loop. But I guess that’s not the final frontier. We all know what the final frontier is- though to be honest, it’s a little presumptuous on space’s part; I mean, who’s to say we won’t eventually find something else more perplexing and seemingly infinite and horrifying to explore… like society’s bottomless patience for Melissa McCarthy movies. So lemme guess, this is going to be space music? Can I make a wacky suggestion? How about playing the themes from Star Wars, Star Trek, and Lost in Space? Because honestly, people are getting sick and tired of hearing the theme music from the misunderstood 2000 James Spader sci-fi film, Supernova, again and again and again…
OSU Wind Ensemble, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $7 online, $10 at the door, free for students
Damn OSU bands and orchestras. Get down now! They playing heck of shows this week, with gigs on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. This is probably the most interesting looking show in the lot, as the Wind Ensemble blows their horns. This is the elite of OSU wind players and they’ll be playing some selections from the likes of Billy Childs, Dana Reason, Kevin Walczyk, Gregory Youtz, Michael Coolen, DJ Sparr, James Mobberly, Dan Welcher, and David Gillingham. All people you’ve never heard of—you don’t have to pretend with your boy—but rest assured they’re the crème de la crème of wind composers and band leaders. I’m pretty stoked for this show.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
True story: Bryson Skaar’s nickname in high school was Skittles. And when he’d challenge someone to a “cutting” match (old jazz parlance for a showdown) and then dazzle them with his piano skills, he’d say, “Taste the rainbow… b*tch.” You know, Bryson and I have never really spent that much time together, but he must be thrilled to have such a creepily devoted fan. I mean, I can only assume…
Wet the Rope, Ghost Fuzz and Snake Eyes, Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. $5
It’s the Ides of March as punk rock comes to tax the town. Corvallis DIY is back in action with another rocker at Interzone. Wet the Rope is Sacramento hardcore of the finest pedigree with former members of Amber Inn, Sinker, and Pitchfork. Ghost Fuzz is some of that local stuff I like so much, and Snake Eyes bill themselves as “math rock.” I was always great at math so I’m sure I’ll like them, too. If they’re anything like 10th grade geometry, I’ll be spending the majority of this show fantasizing about Daisy Fuentes. That’s a name check for all you people who’ve heard of the 90s. Like the dudes from Wet the Rope undoubtedly do. They owned in the 90s.
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
If you weren’t at the screening of The Bat (1959) a couple weeks ago—and mathematically I don’t see how that’s possible since basically every person I’ve ever seen in Corvallis was there—then you don’t know what you’re missing. Every other week now CMNYK has a silent short starring legends like Chaplin, Lloyd, Arbuckle, and Keaton before the show with Justin Schepige from Manhattan on the Rocks and DTW playing organ right there in the theater. This week it’s another magical installment, and the feature is Jean Renoir’s classic drama, The Southerner (1945). #CMNYK is in effect like nobody’s business this spring.
Douglas Detrick’s AnyWhen Ensemble with OSU Jazz Ensemble, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $15 to $20 in advance, $20 to $25 at the door
Wow, holy sh*t. It’s not punk, it’s not Americana, and it’s not a soul band. That’s right, it’s not every other band that plays in a bar all year round. You ever hear of a genuinely unique live music experience? It’s Dougy D’s AnyWhen Ensemble, a bizarre and tonally satisfying mélange of jazz and chamber music. This would make a great soundtrack for an animation, which is I’m sure something Detrick hears all the time. And if not, I’m going to start calling him constantly suggesting it. So notify your security team, Dougy Doug: you just got a new number one fan.
Mostafa and Nappy THC, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
Mostafa is one of the PNW’s most prolific and well-known touring MCs, recording frequently with Oregon’s own Landon Wordswell and the great Gift of Gab (from Blackalicious). So if you’ve never heard his stuff, congratulations, you probably have never listened to an MC from the PNW at all. In which case, we should probably fight. Nappy THC is one of these young “go-hards,” always out on the Internet hustling. And for that I salute him. Go to this show, because there’s only about three hip-hop shows per year. Maybe if we all turn out for this show, next year we can go for four.
Open Source Improv, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 12th St. 9 p.m. Free
I’ve got a crazy-good idea for you, my loving readers, to guinea pig for me. And I feel like that’s a completely solid read on the nature of our relationship, so here goes: it’s a gym for people who like to laugh while they get their pump on. Welcome to The Gymprov. Stand-ups and improv troupes do their routines live on stage, and here’s the rub; the microphones and lights are all powered by the ellipticals and treadmills in the audience. So if the act isn’t funny and people stop working out, they get cut off. I know. It’s genius. But for all you haters not trying to invest in The Gymprov, I suppose you could go to this monthly comedy show at Cloud to get your funny bone tickled.
EDM Thursdays, Riley’s Billiards Bar & Grill, 124 SW Broadalbin St., Albany. 9 p.m. Free
I don’t know, millennials. What do you want me to tell you? Maybe we wouldn’t all treat you like such morons if the stuff you liked wasn’t so horrible. I’m sorry, I’m having bad allergies, so that might have come out muffled. What I meant to say is, “check out this rad dance party in Albany where you can hear the DJs spin all the hot dancey whatevers your heart can handle.” Or something like that…