8 Days a Week…

CoinRealm_Thursday21Thursday, 21

Coin of the Realm, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

These guys just kick a non-insubstantial amount of a*s. I love this band and would strongly recommend them to not only you, but also friends and loved ones who came to visit. Have I ever had a friend or loved one come to visit? Have I ever even had a friend or loved one? All good questions, but that shouldn’t factor in to you going to see Coin of the Realm, they’re fabulous and play an eclectic blend of Eastern Euro-gypsy-folk. And they’re fun and approachable, and my new favorite band in town. Go now. For free. OK, well don’t go now. I mean, go when the show is actually happening. But go.


Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

Mony Mony now, if you know what I mean. You don’t, huh? Well that was a famous song by Tommy James and the Shondells, and Curtis Monette will hopefully cover it at this show. It’s really the least he can do after I write about his kicka*s monthly free show like every month. You feel me, Curt? Mony Mony. Let’s do this. Ride the pony, etc.


Friday, 22

Wups, Old Age & Dr. Neon, Harrison Bar & Grille, 550 NW Harrison Blvd. 9:30 p.m. $3

Look at that, the town’s best rock acts getting busy at a place I’ve legitimately never been to. I know that may sound weird, but this show might as well be in Kim Jong-un’s recreation room for as well as I know the venue. But I do like Wups and Old Age and Doc Neon. Hit this show up for the low, low price of $3 and then maybe buy some merch, because that’s how bands survive. Because if you do the math, by the time they’ve divvyed up $3 times 35 people, each band member is basically going to get a Crunch-Wrap Supreme and a medium Pepsi. Playing the local music circuit; if you wanted to get rich, you’d be doing something else.




Despite the Whiteness, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. $5

I like these guys an awful lot. They play funk music. Is their name controversial and sure to spark discussion? I don’t know. Maybe? But they really play the absolute sh*t out of some damn funk. They also moonlight as a jazz band called Manhattan on the Rocks, and play at local silent movie nights I’m tremendously fond of/the organizer of, so if you’re familiar with their work on that tip, you’re going to enjoy this. Are they whiter than the crowd at that Warren G concert at the Whiteside a couple months ago? Yeah. Does that mean they can’t play funk? Absolutely not. And frankly I think I would resent the implication, if I cared enough to. Which I should stress I don’t.

Saturday, 23

That Coyote and Gazelle(s), Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5

Damn, this week is stacked to the gills with good shows. Between Friday and Saturday nights’ shows alone this week is going to be fun. That Coyote is one of the more innovative and exciting bands that plays around here, with a rocky, heavy Americana-infused sound. And I know I usually would use that phrase derisively, but I actually mean it. This is also exciting Eugene indie band Gazelle(s)’ second show in town in the last few weeks and I’m totes down with it, as I’m sure the young’uns would understand. Them ‘uns… They so crazy.



Matt Bednarsky, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Think somewhere in between James Taylor and John Mayer with Michael Bublé and Ryan Adams mixed in.” That’s from Mr. Bednarsky’s website. You have to imagine he wishes he had that one back, and probably did within like eight seconds of typing it. Interestingly he still went with it, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. If that sentence sounds like something you’d be into, then I have good news for you; he’s playing for free at the ‘Pooia. See you there. Or maybe more realistically I won’t see you there and you can tell me how it was afterward.


Sunday, 24

East Dream Chinese Dance Group: Dance of Spring, La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7 p.m. $8 to $12

Ummmm… f*ck yeah? This looks amazing. East Dream Dance Company, Corvallis’ premier purveyors of Chinese dance and dance lessons (every Saturday morning at 8:30 a.m. at Downtown Dance Studio), are going to do something pretty cool-looking on stage at LaSells. I plan to be there, but I also plan to have retirement savings at some point, and I’d be lying if I said either would pan out. Still this is going to be a lush and beautifully choreographed night of spectacle on stage, so don’t be a rube.

Blues Jam, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 p.m. Free

Blues jam blues jam can’t be beat, it’s the middle-aged gathering with a blues music beat. To be sad and drunk and have lots of fun, attend Blues Jam weekly everyone! (sung to the tune of the old Cocoa Wheats commercials). Crap, should I have suggested the tune before you started reading? Will it change the odds you go to this event? Because I’m willing to bleed for these dudes, I won’t hesitate to sing original slogan material.

Monday, 25

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free

Bryson Skaar will not be intimidated or silenced, OK? NO! Bryson, no. I have to do this, OK, bro? Don’t interrupt me because I have to get this off my chest. Bryson Skaar is terrific at jazz piano. And I love hearing it for free in the warmth and coffee-tinged accommodations of the ‘Gine. I don’t care who knows it, and I’m sick to death of people saying there’s something wrong with it. I’m sorry for getting emotional, but I just really love free weekly arts events in Corvallis. Do it Bryson, do it.

Economically Stimulating Flash Mob, Jack Okole’s, 140 NW 3rd St. 7 p.m. Free

OK, here’s the concept; there’s nothing to do. You want Corvallis to succeed economically and thrive, spawning more locations with additional jobs and other sundry positive effects on the community, right? So why don’t an absolute crap-ton of you just show up at this place, which I confess I’ve never been to (and have never seen anyone else in) in my life. I don’t know, somebody bring Cards Against Humanity, or perhaps even a party board game that I don’t hate and am not completely sick of people suggesting we play, then everybody get sh*t-faced and play that game and order food and tip your server. Next time there’s nothing to do I’ll pick another place I’ve never seen a soul in and we’ll do it again.

Tuesday, 26

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

Community Movie Night is more or less brought to you in part by the works of Alexander Korda. He was a genius, and his work graces our screen basically once a month at CMNYK. This time around it’s Alexander and his brother Zoltan’s collaboration on Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book (1942), starring the immortal Indian acting legend Sabu Dastagir. It’s a live action telling of the classic tale (you only need to open with the term “live action” on properties that are only known for their animated adaptations) of Mowgli, the human boy who has an adventure with the animals of the jungle. Baloo, Bagheera, and most of your other beloved animal friends are here. As well as your most beloved filthy open-mouth chewing animal friend, me. CMNYK, babies. Let’s do this.


Corvallis Green Social, Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free

This bumping party—excuse me, partéis being put on by 350.org, Oregon Sierra Club, and YouCAN Corvallis. And you’re invited, which should be a nice change of pace for you. It’s like an environmental justice mixer. Come and meet others who hope to prevent the world from burning up and disappearing and/or glowing green and/or some other potentially worse environmental outcome I haven’t considered. Should be a real upbeat affair… No, but seriously, this will probably be real fun, particularly if you are hoping to enlist in the battle to save our planet. I’d love to come, but I’m a pacifist…


Wednesday, 27

Murder My Sweet (1944)/The Big Sleep (1946), Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. $7 ($6 for students, seniors; $5 for members)

The Whiteside’s final week of their January Noir series is a real hum-dinger. A double feature of Raymond Chandler’s private detective, Philip Marlowe, in Murder My Sweet and The Big Sleep. This is just a magical night of cinema with two of the finest films ever made, by Edward Dmytryk and Howard Hawks, starring the likes of Powell, Bogart, Bacall. If you miss this you’re a straight-up dummy. I don’t know how to be nicer about that.

Housed Wednesdays, Impulse Bar & Grill, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

I’m going to go way out on a limb and guess this is a house music event? But I could be wrong. Impulse could be being incredibly bold with their marketing strategy here and just suggesting that you come to their bar and “get housed” as a frat boy in 1994 would probably put it. Which would of course lead to them making a bunch of money. Either way I probably won’t be able to make it. But you should. Totally bro.

Thursday, 28

Get Smart, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 23nd St. 7:30 p.m. $12 to $14

Well, this looks awesome. Are you serious? A Get Smart stage show? I’m down. Fans of the property before Steve Carrell murdered the absolute piss out of it will likely also be stoked to see the next generation keeping it alive. This is a Santiam Christian High production, so I’m imagining kids sitting on each other’s shoulders in trench coats to simulate full-size adults in a madcap spy comedy romp. What? I’m not great at pegging ages. But seriously, step out of the cone silence and come see a show. I can’t imagine there’s a single one of these kids who ever saw the original, so I’m stoked for their interpretation of Maxwell Smart.

Marys River Grange Movie Night, Marys River Grange Hall, 24707 Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Free

Marys River Grange Movie Night is so hot right now, Marys River Grange Movie Night. You know what I’m saying? Last show had people from Corvallis and people from Philomath meeting and greeting, Grange members meeting members of the general public. Popcorn, murder, mayhem, all that good stuff. This week we got Fred Astaire, Jane Powell, and a cast of thousands in Stanley Donen’s musical dance masterpiece, Royal Wedding (1951). Fred dances on the ceiling and your feet will be tapping on the floor. I will probably be in the back trying to mimic the dance moves, so please ignore the loud crashes.