8 Days a Week…

fri 5Thursday, August 4

Majestic Reader’s Theatre Fall Auditions. Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Free.

Auditions for fall productions of the Majestic Reader’s Theatre are here! Eight cast members are wanted for Fahrenheit 451 under the direction of Jonathan Jesse Pedersen. Talk Radio, directed by Rus Roberts, is looking for two female and seven male actors. Man from Earth, which will be directed by Bryan Smith and Alycia Olivar, needs six male actors and three female actors. Reader’s Theatre productions involved actors performing script-in-hand, which allows for a unique style of performance that sidesteps memorization. Interested? Come out and audition for these wonderful shows! Dot your I’s and cross your T’s at www.majestic.org.

Rusty Hinges. Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free.

When this column began, one of the first new bands I ran into was… Rusty Hinges. I love their song “Tater Patch”—not just because it says “tater”—and have been known to dance naked to it while doing the dishes. What can I say? If you’re not familiar, expect an amalgamated sound featuring elements of bluegrass, blues, and more. For very banjo-friendly information, visit www.calapooiabrewing.com.

Friday, August 5

Majestic Science Theatre 3000: The Giant of Metropolis. Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $8 to $10.

From a very young age I knew I liked robots, space princesses (cooties and all), swords, lazers (with a z), cyclops, and all of that campy goodness. Naturally, I was a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Well, if you’re like me then you’re in luck: The Majestic is doing a parody where local “improv-ers and actors will be cynically disemboweling golden age science fiction films and PSAs no matter how loud you scream, ‘Down in front!’” It’s love, its loud, and they’re doing The Giant of Metropolis! Super scientists, big musclemen, Atlantis, and intrigue, this is a classic that The Majestic says “will make you laugh and cry, because you’re laughing so hard.” I totally agree. For more information, visit www.majestic.org.

Saturday, August 6

Midsummer Arts 2016. Monteith Park, Albany. 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Free.

From the press release, “The fourth annual Midsummer Arts festival returns to Monteith Riverpark on the first Saturday in August. Join us for tons of free artsy fun, with hands-on activities, theater and dance exercises, and a craft fair full of local DIY artists. Get your Albany Visitor’s Association “Passport” stamp, too.” We know not of these bizarre Passport stamps in our technologically advanced Corvallis, but Monteith is a beautiful location for an event like this (just don’t lie down near the water drunk in the middle of the night… a cat tried to eat my eyebrow). Seize the opportunity to get out of town without burning too much gas. Albany is right around the corner and you foo—…. I mean, you lovely people, never enjoy it! For informatics, visit www.midsummerarts.org.

Sunday, August 7

Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15 general admission, $10 students and seniors, $5 for OSU students.

Eleven seasons in, there’s really only one relevant thing to say about Bard in the Quad: it’s almost always excellent. That’s not sensationalism, I truly mean excellent. This time around they’re putting on Love’s Labour’s Lost, with performances held at 7:30 p.m. from Aug. 4 to 7 and Aug. 11 to 14 right on the Quad. Honestly, what’s not to love about casual, outdoor summer viewings on the classics performed by people who love them? No seating is provided, but you’re welcome to bring low lawn chairs and blankets. If you suck at adulting and can’t remember to dress yourself for the occasion, please remember warm clothing. If you want to sneak in a picnic… it’s cool, don’t sneak. You’ll look suspicious. For truly Shakespearean information, visit www.bardinthequad.org.

Monday, August 8

Children’s Survival Camp. Cheadle Lake Park, 37919 Weirich Dr., Lebanon. 8:30 a.m.

Tired of music, tired of the heat? Have $200 burning a hole in your pocket and want to abandon your child for a day so you can climb in a hole and sleep for once? Visiting experts from Coyle Outside Summer Camps will teach your little goofballs how to survive in the wild. This includes problem solving, knot tying, shelter building, traps, fire, and all sorts of other cool sh*t. This is a “parks and rec” style day camp that runs Monday to Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. every day from today until the 12th. There’s even before and after care provided by the Boys & Girls Club, wowaweewa! For incoming students in grades 3 to 7, only, sorry… but the admission gets them a snack. Space is limited because every cool kid on Earth wants to learn to set fires. You can register at the Boys & Girls Club at 305 S 5th Street, Lebanon. For more information, check out their website at www.coyleoutside.com or call 541-258-7105.

Tuesday, August 9

The People’s Pint. Block 15, 300 SW Jefferson Ave. All day. Free.

I’m pretty much down for anything called The Peoples’ Pint. Even if it meant being dipped in honey and fed to fire arts, I’d do it. Thankfully none of that is necessary, as this is just an awesome event being held at the downtown Environmental Center, and it will be overflowing with locally sourced food and independent craft beer. Ten percent of all food sales will be donated to the center. To plug your brain into what’s going down, visit www.corvallisenvironmentalcenter.org.

Community Movie Night. Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free.

Every Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema: fantastic old movies complete with period accurate news reels and cartoons. The lost, the cult… the classic, generated by all the bodies that helped forge the industry. Please do treat yourself—you’re unlikely to regret it unless you trip and fall on your face walking there. Best theater in town and Corvallis’ only independent movie house, donations are graciously accepted and benefit the renovation of the Darkside Cinema. For the pertinent info, visit www.cmnyk.wordpress.com or www.facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis.

Wednesday, August 10

Meet the Author: Cory Frye. Grass Roots Books & Music, 227 NW 2nd St. 7 – 8:30 p.m.

Go ahead. No, no, I’m waiting. Tell me you’re not interested in a book called Murder in Linn County, Oregon. That’s what I thought. Written by one Cory Frye, this retells a bit of history that goes like this: “On June 21, 1922, Linn County sheriff Charles Kendall and Reverend Roy Healy drove out to the town of Plainview to arrest a moonshining farmer named Dave West. By the end of the day, all three men were dead. Cory Frye delivers a riveting, detailed account of these shocking and tragic crimes that haunted Linn County for decades.” Yep, sounds incredibly interesting. The author will be reading and signing books at this event, will you? I mean, be at the event… Please don’t read out loud or sign things. Please dig yourself up some event updates via www.grassrootsbookstore.com.

Thursday, August 11

Imagine Coffee Open Mic. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free.

Are you talented, but cranky? Do you always say stuff like, “Oh God, open mics… so bad. Always so bad.”? Then howabout you put the mic where your mouth is and give it a shot? Seriously, the only people that complain that much about something secretly like it—just ask my wife! ::drumroll, crash:: But seriously, there is a ton of talent in this town and Imagine Coffee is one of the most comfortable places to show it off, as well as take it in. What the hell is it the kids are always saying? YELLOW? YOLO? For up to date information, please visit www.imaginecoffee.net. Also, eat their food and drink their coffee. Your internal organs will thank you. Just probably not with words… sorry.