The Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwashSweet Home was rocked last week when police made the most lackluster drug bust of all time, finding a gun, some meth, and less than an ounce of pot. Also reportedly found in the home were chairs, a table, a refrigerator, and several pairs of socks.

Albany announces new airport operator Tony Hann. Everyone collectively makes the joke, “Wait, Albany has an airport?” Including me. Just now. You just read it.

A Benton County judge has sentenced one of the teens that torched Chip Ross Park last year to 25 days on a work crew with two years of probation. Several dozen Corvallis citizens throw tantrums that he didn’t get tied to a post, dripped in honey, and fed to fire ants.

Ninth Street and Circle dominates Corvallis PD’s list of most dangerous intersections, with four wrecks in six months. Meanwhile, everyone that lives on Division has to make the sign of the cross and almost get flattened whenever they turn right or left onto Spruce because there is zero visibility.

The Corvallis People group was shaken to its core last weekend as one unlucky Corvallisite became frustrated with fancy words like “comprehension” and “stereotyping,” lashing out in the only way they knew how: “Stop preening and trying to show off… anyone can buy a dictionary.”