Open Carry = Open Season on Californians

ODFW-logoCorvallis City Council has officially reopened the discussion on open carry laws, but the latest announcement shows that city officials are taking an entirely new angle on the issue. Joining forces with the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife (ODFW), council members held a special session meeting to announce that gun owners in Corvallis will be free to register themselves for a hunting permit for a special type of game: former Californians.

The announcement seems to solidify open carry allowances and should provide a recreational outlet for gun owners to limit their desires to open fire on anyone or anything else. ODFW released a statement saying that the decision was made when the latest statistics showed that the population of former Californians throughout Oregon had reached record numbers.

The growth rate is “plague-like” and city council members called for Corvallis hunters to “thin the herd during this open season.”

Of course, there are regulations on the hunt that can be found on the ODFW website, but here’s a quick rundown. Registration for the permit opens next week and hunting sessions are relegated to the third Sunday of every month. Hunters are allotted two Californians per permit and are expected to handle the disposal of the remains of their hunt on their own.

ODFW also shared a few tips for the hunt of Californians. Location-wise, the former Californian can be found stalking grounds familiar to their homelands: Starbucks, Trader Joe’s. Rainy weather is perfect for the Californian hunt as they will be found huddled together under a mass of umbrellas and dressed in easily identifiable North Face hiking gear to fight what they consider to be “extreme weather.” Similarly, they can be found frequenting car washes in the area, as their primal instincts tell them to do anything they can to keep their transportation clean.

Corvallis’ Tourism Board has already noted an uptick in tourist numbers since the announcement, with many citing the new hunting regulations as the main factor in their decision to visit the city.

Happy hunting, Corvallis.

By Nathan Hermanson