Linn-Benton Backwash: The Let’s Get Judgy Edition

linnbentonbackwash1A fire last weekend at Philomath’s Mary’s River Lumber Co. was kicked in the fork by almost two dozen firefighters. While the cause remains unknown, several affluent Corvallisites grumbled under their breath about “goddamn reefer smokin’ teenagers.”

Two dipthongs that kind of look like extras in a D-rate Hobbit ripoff were busted for running a bicycle theft “operation” in Corvallis. Mediocre-ly named William Robert Johnson and Steven James Johnston, they were charged with a bunch of fun stuff, taken to jail, etc. They were stealing bikes and parts from bike racks… hardly a criminal operation, but I hope someone popped a boner taking them down.

Ex-Corvallis Advocate writer Patrick Fancher takes up shop at the Gazette-Times, penning for The E, and immediately proceeds to write a piece about himself. Very classy, my man.

There has been some squabbling between the cities of Lebanon and Albany about pumping water from Cheadle Lake. Or the lack thereof. Nobody really knows, let alone cares, right?

The Lebanon Log: At a bar in Lebanon named Merlin’s, one man punched another man in the face at 12:45 a.m. on May 29. On May 30, someone hung a dead cat from a window on Oak Street, while on May 31 a man was trespassed at Bi-Mart trying to peddle his rap CD (probably the same dude from a few weeks back, if you’re a weekly reader) and a sheep was found disrupting traffic near Walker Road. Also, I can’t remember what day it was, but I peed in the front yard of my grandmother’s house at about 9 p.m. It was dark and nobody could have seen my wiener.

By Johnny Beaver

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