Linn Benton Backwash: Enhanced Policing Edition

linnbentonbackwash1Reports indicate explosions all over both Benton and Linn counties on July 4. When contacted, police expressed more concern over the larger display on July 1.

Last week Philomath police discovered a barn overflowing with stolen bicycles and bicycle parts. As long as no one comes forward to claim them, for the first time in history the PPD will have top notch transportation under their command.

Thanks to a DUII stop of a Corvallis man on meth, I now know that there is such a thing as a “drug recognition expert.” I also learned that the Corvallis equivalent of Lebanon’s “He was on somethin’” is “[He] was under the influence of a central nervous system stimulant.”

Foster Reservoir was the site of extreme class last week when a boy lost his cellphone and the person who found it refused to give it back without a reward. The police didn’t take too kindly to that and regulated.

The Lebanon Log: On June 26 two people were spotted pumping water out of a canal and into their Volkswagen at the intersection of River and Franklin. On June 27 someone stole a bag of chicken from Safeway right around the time someone else dumped a bucket of water on a woman’s head from the apartment above hers. As June 29 rolled by, a bicycle was stolen from Burger King and later found at McDonald’s… a suspicious case of corporate sabotage if I’ve ever seen one. Later on that day someone was scammed out of $50 by a fake Dish representative, and police had to counsel a woman for running around topless.

 On July 1 a man in a plaid shirt and swimming goggles was found sleeping on a random porch (I think we all know what that was about). On July 2 a criminal mastermind took a shower at Waterloo Park without paying the fee.

By Johnny Beaver