Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwashby Johnny Beaver

Seventeen cars were broken into in a Corvallis OSU parking lot within a few days. Oregon State Police are currently performing stop and frisk procedures in Lebanon in an attempt to find the culprit. In the meantime, don’t park in the Crop and Soil Science lot. Word on the street is that cars are getting broken into.

Jason M. Touch of Oregon state prison fame sauntered away from a work crew in Philomath last week. He had been in prison since 1998 with a possible release date of 2019. Why walk the plank after so many years with just a few left? I’m going to go with donuts. Philomath’s NutCakes is ^#@! delicious. Thanks to expert reporting by the Gazette-Times, we know that Touch was last seen wearing his prison uniform. I’m sure he still has it on.

The eighth annual Albany Wine Walk will be held this coming May. Come on down and enjoy high-end juices from Behringer, Sutter Home, and Barefoot. Enter the $2 raffle and take home a prestigious bottle of Yellow Tail merlot!

Journey Drummer Deen Castronovo donates $10,000 to the South Albany High School to help restore music equipment lost in this month’s arson. Students were pissed when they realized that he wasn’t Steve Smith.

Lebanon girl starts car wash to raise funds to bury her grandmother. Good lord that’s depressing.

The Linn County Arts Guild has set up shop in downtown Lebanon, fully prepared to engage in the strip’s well-known revolving door policy. They plan on unwillingly closing doors in a few months, just before turning into a coffee shop and later a thrift store and/or hot dog palace/bike repair shop.

The Lebanon Files: On April 12 a woman found a total of five used condoms, tied together, on her back patio. Because why not.