Linn-Benton Backwash

linnbentonbackwash1Flooding seems to have closed every last public school in Corvallis on Dec. 18. My best guess is that some kids got together and used the Force.

Unassociated were a number of explosions that rung out in the morning hours—turns out they were part of a training exercise for the Corvallis Fire Department. Douglas Bailey, the division chief with the department, was kind of like, “Oops, my bad” regarding the lack of leaflets dropped to warn the community. Either way, thanks for waking me up early for work. That rocked. Jacka*ses.

Corvallis kept the classic 80’s Christmas spirit alive with a good old fashioned purse snatching on Dec. 16. The snatching occurred on the 1300 block of 15th Street. It was your standard snatch ‘n’ grab. Thankfully no one was hurt.

LBCC has been flaunting its new iLearn system, which… ::yawn:: Oh man… ::yawn::. Ugh, sorry. I have a hard time staying awake when it comes to discussing online education that fails to address the pitfalls of online education beyond the “it’s not for everyone” insurance policy.

Lebanon’s city council has voted to remove the moratorium on medical marijuana dispensaries, proving that they are, indeed, not crazy.

Speaking of Lebanon, the Super McDonald’s opened on Dec. 14. Yup, a town of 15,000 just had a $2.2 million remodel on a McDonald’s. It now has seating for 100 and a double lane drive-through. And yes, this is the craziest sh*t I’ve ever heard. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

The Lebanon Log: On Dec. 11 a youngster was skitchin’, or hanging on to the back of moving vehicles while on his skateboard. The cops couldn’t find him after an exhaustive search—likely because he was attached to their rear bumper. On Dec. 15, apparently… and this is the blotter’s number, not mine… a woman stole 211 beers from Walmart. My lord, let’s just end this here.

By Johnny Beaver