It’s Just Dumb… Except the Ninja

linnbentonbackwashLocal Benton County officials chimed in on Kitzhaber’s resignation… and exactly zero people cared.

No new sightings have occurred of the 23-year-old Corvallis man who claimed to be training for the American Ninja Warrior competition when he was stopped on OSU property while scaling walls with a bandana over his face. Which sucks, of course, because we always want to hear more about ninjas.

The man who smashed six car windows and generally went postal with a golf club in Lebanon last month was sentenced to three years in prison last Friday. Ricky Allen Aldrich, 33, was angry because he had been cut off at the bar and so he went home, got the club, and started swinging. Speaking of how awesome Lebanon is…

Lebanon in Time… Feb. 6 to Feb. 7: A man stole $11.34 worth of Mini Reese’s, five loads of laundry were stolen from the Spin City Laundromat, two juvenile males were reported smoking marijuana at the Carl’s Jr., a man was reported yelling at cars and blocking the road, a woman sent $12,800 to her online lover in the Philippines so he could buy her a ring (and hasn’t heard from him since), and a total of five people were trespassing at the 7-11.

By Johnny Beaver