Have Mustache, Will Travel
Just after a scathing Reilly-izing in last week’s pages, Governor John Kitzhaber was forced to recognize reality and resign. I can’t help but wonder what dinner is like at the ol’ Kitzhaber ranch. I once forgot to put my wife’s clothes in the dryer causing her to not be ready for work, which resulted in her being reprimanded. She almost divorced me. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around the hell storm of humanity that would jump off if I got her fired from her job as governor.
As a citizen who was completely revolted by the brazen levels of impropriety the former governor and his fiancé engaged in, I can’t help but now feel a ton of empathy for Cylvia Hayes. Not sympathy, but definitely empathy. Every relationship is work, but playing a key role in losing your spouse their ultimate dream job is particularly tough. There’s going be some mighty pointed “Pass the salt, please…” going on at that dinner table for the foreseeable future.
How to Front Run
In every presidential election cycle there’s a presumed front-runner. Depending on how serious a candidate they are and how far from the actual voting we are, this front-runner will frequently change. For a good example of this, see the Republican side. Chris Christie has been a “front-runner” off and on since the last election, but he has a problem keeping his mouth shut and letting his front run. Fortunately, none of his competitors are much savvier and so they’re all just playing musical chairs for pole position. Remember Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, and Rick Perry? They all can give vital lessons in talking your way out of contention. For that matter, so can Howard Dean.
Which brings us to our professor, running a masterclass in remaining the front-runner: former first lady, senator, and secretary of state Hillary Rodham Clinton. Nobody with a resume as thin as hers (I mean on actual accomplishments, not job titles), battling the number of controversies and potential controversies she does (not even taking into account her husband’s gargantuan load of dirty laundry), with the track record she has, should be able to remain in front as long as Mrs. Clinton has been able to. Have you figured out how she does it yet? It’s called keeping your big dumb mouth shut. She’s perfected it, and will ride it all the way to the nomination.
This is not to say she hasn’t spoken and stepped in it before. Her now famous gaffes about how poor the Clintons were when Bill left office to her less than artful dodging on Benghazi would have sunk a Republican, particularly one of the not-quite Nobel laureates I listed earlier. But a slick operator like Hillary understands the value of clamming up. And for that, if nothing else, she’s earned my respect.
If it was easy, everyone would do it.
By Sidney Reilly