Eugene Ballet Performing The Nutcracker, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7:30 p.m. $30 to $33
The Eugene Ballet will be performing the timeless classic that everyone loves… until Christmastime, at which point we all walk silently and only occasionally raise our heads to share a glance with some other brave soul who wants to murder these half-wood nut-gobbling demons. I mean… um… this will be a lovely night of ballet and I definitely do not need to see a psychiatrist about my Christmastime issues, thank you. On the real though, this is a really classy outfit putting on a serious show at a great venue. You have only a few excuses to miss this one.
Curtis Monette, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free
Curtis Monette is back in action for his monthly gig at Bombs. Sometimes I want to show up at this gig and just stand in one place that is very visible from stage and not move at all—total stillness. I’m talking cast-as-a-corpse-extra-in-a-movie still. And then come back and do it again at the next month’s installment. And then again. And then when Curtis comes up to ask me what the hell is wrong with me and what I’m doing there, I’ll just be like, “What are you talking about, weirdo?” Musicians like it when their fans are inscrutable, bordering on creepy. And they love it when I’m just plain creepy and totally scrutable.
Majestic Science Theater 3000, The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $5 to $8
Everyone loved MST3K, because it was fun and awesome. But in retrospect, it’s sort of ridiculous that it was a recorded, pre-packaged product. The only thing that makes this type of setup, where a few funny goons poke fun at a bad movie while it’s playing, actually work is if it’s live. Oh hello there, Majestic Theatre. The energetic and nerdy group over at the Majestic has done just that, giving you a chance to see The Devil Bat (1940, which actually isn’t a terrible movie) starring the great Bela Lugosi, while some funny and presumably gregarious locals crack wise on top. Don’t miss this, or I’ll be forced to think less of you.
Ludicrous Speed, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
F*ck yeah ska. Ten times out of ten. Ludicrous Speed is Corvallis’ best/only ska band, and because of that, they could literally replace their horn section with kazoos and I’d still be on board for this reasonably priced show. So definitely plan on seeing me at Skombs Skaway this Friday. Actually, come to think of it, they might want to try that kazoo idea anyway, it could be kind of genius. And obviously the band name just writes itself, no? I mean, who wouldn’t go see the Skazookeepers live? I hear they’re real skanimals, those guys…
Amanda Richards and the Good Long Whiles, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Are Amanda Richards and the Good Long Whiles two separate acts? Perhaps if you knew how to use Google like me, you’d know the answer to that. Okay, spoiler alert: it’s just one band. And they’re supposedly pretty good. But I bet you can tell by the way I didn’t refer to them as Skamanda Richskards and the Good Skong Whiles, that this show is featuring—wait for it—Americana! And not a moment too soon, am I right? I was starting to wonder if anyone in this town even loved the sound of a banjo as much as advertised. Wait, is this show free? Ignore my cynicism and go.
Majestic Madness 2, The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Free
To quote Chris Tucker, “Dizaaaaaaamn!” The Majestic is really putting their back into it. This is the second installment of their beloved and bizarre night of local playwriting and reading. At Majestic Madness, a few locally written plays will get chopped up right there in the auditorium by whoever raises their hand and chooses to take a crack at reading. It’s funny, fresh, off the cuff, and hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July (something I heard Bo Jackson say in an interview that I liked). If you miss this event, which I should remind you is free, please meet me behind the dumpsters in the alley near Crowbar at 5:15 p.m. today for a fistfight.
Corvallis-OSU Symphony Presents Ill-Fated Love, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 3 p.m. $22 to $32
Yeah, Corvallis, don’t be a f*cktwit. We have a symphony. And they’re pretty excellent. They’re no Cleveland Orchestra in its golden age, under Dohnanyi, but they’re pretty darn good. This is as close to real London/New York/Toronto entertainment as it gets around here, so do yourself a favor and go. Also, thanks for not saying anything while I coyly slipped Toronto in there with the big boys. You’re a bunch of Drake-liking chumps… huh. Strauss, Bartok, and Tchaikovsky are all on the menu for this one.
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
And now the exact opposite of an afternoon at the symphony: an afternoon getting sh*tfaced and watching baby boomers play the blues. I’m not an anthropologist or anything, but my guess is there will be just as many people at this booze-lubed live music event as at that other significantly less lubed one. What’s that you say? The symphony buys tons and tons of KY? I wonder what for… You know what? This one’s a total toss up. Go to Blues Jam or the Symphony; my sources say they will apparently be equal in their level of sexiness.
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Bryson will play jazz piano live and for free, no matter if Thanksgiving is a month away or three days. It straight up don’t matter to Bryson. That’s what’s known as writing in “the conversational.” If I were to stick to my normally rigorous standards I probably would have written, “Bryson cares not for days on a calendar page; he plays music for the masses and for free. And he plays in the style made famous by the likes of Jelly Roll Morton and Art Tatum, the most American of instruments: the jazz piano.” But it should be remembered that I have no standards. And I also don’t talk like some Oxford educated a*shole. (Cue harmonica and acoustic guitar.) I was born in a small town, and I live in a small town, probably die in small town…
Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 702 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Free
Yeesh, Monday the week of Thanksgiving can be like this. Every venue and act in town is phoning it in, buying plane tickets to Wisconsin. But don’t worry, because The Arts Center knew you’d be desperate for some live music. So they scheduled a special installment of… Yoga in the Gallery. Sorry, that’s what’s called a perception shift. Or just a d*ckmove. No live music today, my wee slopsters, just yoga and people fleeing town. But it is free yoga, so…
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
Oh please believe, CMNYK doesn’t take breaks for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Yom Kippur. We do believe in taking a respectable hiatus for Lag b’Omer, but it probably doesn’t fall near a Tuesday this year, and I was lying about that anyway. But for real, people, CMNYK is still Corvallis’ favorite free movie screening series and the best place to see the classics on the big screen. This week, after a couple weeks of heavier fare, is the light and beloved comedy musical The Inspector General (1949), starring the legendary showman (and dude who never missed Lag b’Omer) Danny Kaye.
Celtic Jam, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
What was the count on the pilgrims? Were they all Brits? I’m thinking there was a fair amount of Irishmen in the boat, and so Celtic Jam is as appropriate a Thanksgiving week activity as anything else. Also it’s free, and I think it’s safe to say the Native Americans who met the Pilgrims didn’t even have currency as a concept up until that point. So when you think about it, this event is more Thanksgiving-y than eating turkey with your loved ones. Right?
Dying to Know: Ram Dass and Timothy Leary, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. Various showtimes
Look, there’s just nothing good to do in town on the days before and of Thanksgiving. So instead of pulling a muscle twisting myself into a pretzel trying to convince you to go do yoga or something… cough cough…I’m going to squeeze in an extra mini-Entertainmental to talk about a special opportunity to see an important film.
For one more week, and then who knows, the Darkside is holding over Dying to Know, a documentary about the transformational and fascinating relationship between famed LSD pioneer Timothy Leary and Ram Dass (née Richard Alpert). The two were psychology professors at Harvard in the 1960s when they turned the establishment on its ear by experimenting extensively with psychedelic drugs. Leary would spend the next 20 years in and out of prison for his beliefs and behaviors, while Alpert sought enlightenment with a Hindu guru and returned from India calling himself Ram Dass, and becoming a spiritual guide for countless inquiring souls over the next 40 years. (continued on Thursday 26)
Dying to Know: Ram Dass and Timothy Leary, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. Various showtimes
In the new documentary from director Gay Dillingham (who was at the Darkside last week doing a Q&A after the film), the amazing friendship of the two luminaries is investigated to learn something valuable about the nature of friendships and legacies.
Leary died nearly 20 years ago of cancer, and spent a tremendous amount of time, particularly in his waning days, spiritually preparing himself, with the help of his old friend. Dass is now in his mid-80s and is preparing for his own spiritual journey as he prepares for the possibility that he won’t be around forever. It’s in this unique and eye-opening intellectual space that Dillingham weaves a warm-hearted, informational, and life-affirming tapestry from the lives and works of these two incredibly important thinkers of the 20th century. The film also can be an invaluable tool for a new generation of counter-culture warriors attempting to make their mark and not fade in the morning tide like so many others. From Dass and Leary, they get a master class.