8 Days a Week

Thursday, 6

Hilltop Big Band, Hunks & the Hottie, and Meatbomb, Starker Arts Park, 4485 SW Country Club Dr. 6 p.m. Free

HBB in effect my people. Hunks & the Hottie and Meatbomb are also stalwarts of the local scene, but let’s not be disingenuous with each other. Hill Top Big Band is the get here. What a bargain, for free, at the gorgeous Starker Arts Park. If it weren’t for the dangerous game of live ammo Civil War-era dueling LARP that will be going on just a stone’s throw away, I’d wholeheartedly recommend this event. As it is, I’m afraid you may want to bring a musket, or at least a small cannon to enjoy this show. History lives.

Infinite Improv, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. Free

It’s not that I don’t love improv, because I do. Who doesn’t? It’s the infinite part that’s got me worried. I mean, do they follow you home? Are they difficult to shut up? Do they lock the doors and not let you out? In what sense exactly is it “infinite”? Once we nail down the answer to that question, I can’t think of a reason on Earth to skip this event. Oh, other than the flesh-eating wasps. Did I forget to mention them?

Friday, 7

Rainbow in the Clouds, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Free

You’re making me feel funky. You wouldn’t like me when I’m feeling funky. That’s right, it’s me, Dance Hulk. I like to go on a monthly rage-induced bootyshake at Rainbow in the Clouds, Corvallis’ only LGBTQQIA monthly danceplosion. It’s basically the perfect place for a green, muscle-bound dance machine like myself to get down. Come see me and a host of other costume-clad rump-shakers who look like the Avengers getting down at the best dance party all month long.

Dr. Neon, Darian Renee, and Radion, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3

Dr. Neon is a new outfit featuring members of Summer Soundtrack, which some of you probably love and still others of you… have heard of. Darian Renee sounds like Taylor Swift doing an impression of Vanessa Carlton. And of course Radion is a local lo-fi alt-punk machine that wails. One of these things is not like the other… But this is still a pretty sweet show. I’d totally f*ck with this show for $3. Don’t snooze.




Deadbeats_Saturday8Saturday, 8

The Deadbeats, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Can’t say I’d advise the band name or the logo art, but these guys are surprisingly fun. Better to mid-life crisis your way in this punk direction than a Bruce Springstein direction, so I can’t pretend these guys aren’t awesome. And I can’t strongly enough endorse the freeness of this show. It’s like my second favorite aspect, behind the band. It might even be a tie.


The Raccoons, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Free

Is there a genre of music called “private school folk?” Or I don’t know, “university folk,” maybe? That’s where I’d stick this duo. They’re folky in a very white collar sort of way, and I don’t mind it. Though they are basically what you’d imagine if you thought of what band Donald Trump liked in college. Other than Gwar. You know Trump loved Gwar. I also applaud their band name which invites all sorts of potential trouble, not the least of which is the band sneaking into your garbage cans at night to scavenge for food and knock the cans over.


Sunday, 9

Bard in the Quad, Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW Jefferson St. 7:30 p.m. $15 ($10 for students and seniors; $5 for OSU students)

Shakespeare is my dude. If you’ve ever loved anything, it was probably based on something the Bard wrote. From Akira Kurosawa and George Lucas to Ethan Hawke and Keanu Reeves, everyone takes shots at adapting his work. Few do it as locally and inexpensively as the OSU Theatre Department. These annual performances in the Memorial Union Quad are a pleasure, at least for me. Because I’m hella smart. I’m like a cup of Greek yogurt: I’m cultured. You analphabet goons probably would rather stay home and watch The Bachelorette. Know what I mean? Condescension.

Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free

Who else is trying to get their drink on at four in the afternoon on a Sunday? That’s right, all of you. Let’s all kick the blues together this Sunday. Wait, that came out wrong. Please do not get up on stage and kick the performers. And if you do, please don’t say I put the idea in your head. Unless people clap, I guess. Sh*t this is getting confusing. OK—don’t kick the performers. But if you do, only give me credit if 60% or more of the audience seems to like it. You know what, we’ll just plan the assault when we get there. Meet you in the parking lot at 3:45.

Monday, 10

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free

B-Skizzle is back on the black ‘n’ whites at the ‘Gine. I sound hip, don’t I? My abbreviatatious ways are part of my charm, I’ve always felt, but if you prefer I can sell it the old fashioned way, because in fairness, both his songbook and the overwhelming majority of his audience, are on the golden oldie side. How about this: bring your sweetheart for an earful of the music that makes teens want to increase their carnal knowledge. The jazz music. At the ‘Gine. Bring lube.


10th Annual Community Art Show, LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Free

We’re a community of artists, or so we often tell each other. I like to think we’re a community of warm-bodied potential lovers and mortal enemies. But since we’re not likely to have a Community Duel Show or a Community Orgy, this will have to suffice. Fortunately there’s nothing else to do this Sunday, other than find a potential bang buddy or duel opponent. Art!

Tuesday, 11

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

After making heads explode with incredibly trippy Alice in Wonderland last week, CMNYK is cranking up the insanity with the classic 70s sci-fi masterpiece A Boy and His Dog. Based on a Harlan Ellison short story, the movie is funny, tense, action-packed, terrifying, hallucinogenic, and a cult classic treat dripping with 70s style and politics. Not unlike your dad. Bring him along, and get there early, because CMNYK has been packing the joint and word is spreading. They’re going to have to start holding the screenings at Goss Stadium soon.



Concert in the Park, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

The concert in the park is just great stuff, and the family atmosphere is roughly equivalent to Thanksgiving getting a foot job from a graduation weekend. There are lots of families about, assorted levels of interest in what’s going on onstage, to say nothing of the significant booze and snacks brought from home. I won’t pretend this event wouldn’t be improved by a bare-knuckle boxing pit near the stage. But what event wouldn’t be? I know it was a hit at my wedding.

YearCobra_Wedneday12Wednesday, 12

Year of the Cobra, Mother Crone, and Red Cloud, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Year of the Cobra is not to be f*cked with. That much is clear from their face-melting debut EP. This duo features drums and bass and a soft beautiful voice and not a whole lot else. Prepare to have your lower registers plowed. Mother Crone is also a pretty damn hard-rocking thrash/metal outfit, and Red Cloud is one of my favorite acts to come through town. They’ve got a real simple throwbacky vintage punk sound. Like KISS without the makeup meets Wire. I love the absolute sh*t out of this show. Let’s do this, Bombs.




Hilltop Big Band, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free

HBB for the second time this week, that’s right. These guys are like the Jesus of Corvallis free shows; they come back after a few days and everybody’s psyched to see them. I would actually throw a few bucks down to see this rollicking bunch, so seeing them for free is, as they say, gravy. Speaking of gravy, I had a jar of it in my pocket—you know, for snacking—just the other day while I was riding my bike, and when I fell it broke in my pocket, stabbing me with gravy shards in my leg. I never cleaned the wound and now my thoughts are all sort of… jumbly. Where was I? Oh yeah, Hilltop Big, 10 times out of 10.

Thursday, 13

Sunblood Stories and Vandfald, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. Free

Damn Corvallis, check out the big acts on you this week. Between this show, the must-see Red Cloud show, Radion, the weird stop animation sex video my wife and I are making, and two chances to see Hilltop Big Band, this week is just packed to the gills with awesome spectacles to give your ears and genitals a boost. Sunblood Stories and Vanfald both rock surprisingly well for how pretentious their band names are. Sunblood Stories sounds like a collection of Cormac McCarthy short stories. I’m guessing they’re not nearly as depressing as that would be.



Now Brothers, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Now Brothers returns to Calapooia for another night of free rock ‘n’ rolling. If I’m being honest, I’ll probably be too showed-out at this point to go to another event and headbang non-stop for 45 minutes. Although if I’m being really honest, I’ll probably stay at home and listen to Iron Maiden while I shoot BBs at Stratego pieces on which I’ve written the names of politicians I don’t agree with. And I’ll headbang a lot during that, so I guess my excuse for missing this show is less than rock solid. Also, if you do go to this show and you happen to show up late, be polite and don’t loudly make a “Later brothers” joke. I’ve thought about it and it would be less than classy.