Family Dynamic and Sojourner, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Don’t judge a band by its name. Not only is that roughly the same as choosing a bottle of wine by how colorful its label is, but it would also definitely mean you’d have to skip this show. But free rock and roll is thin on the ground. And for all you know both of these bands are terrific. Get your Bomb on with this pair of rambunctious alt rockers that will make you think as much as mosh… wait, do people still mosh? What goes on at a rock show these days?
Wild Hog in the Woods, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany 7:30 p.m. Free
Totapatoe or not totapatoe? That is the question. The answer is clearly yes. Do tap a toe. Because Wild Hog is back with their third show in 14 days and a whole lot of beardy folksy mayhem. Bring your moonshine jug and your washboard. Or actually, don’t bring a moonshine jug, this is a bar, you savage. But definitely bring a washboard, because these guys are definitely wearing clothes that could use a date with a laundromat…
That Coyote and Human Ottoman, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 8 p.m. $8 ($5 for members, seniors, students)
TC and HO make for an explosive mixture on the small Bombs Away stage you’re used to seeing them on. In the tradition of the great American sequel, everything is bigger this time. Well, not everything—just the stage really, although I do feel like it wouldn’t kill That Coyote to hit the gym… The Majestic is a terrific venue for this couple of idiosyncratic rock acts, so don’t vandalize the bathrooms (as I normally advise).
The Svens, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5
One of Corvallis’ best local acts is blowing up Bombs with their infectious middle-aged cowboy surf rocking, and I’ll be there with bells on, in addition to pants and all the other normal elements of an outfit. I’m pretty reliable in the ol’ not-showing-up-places-naked department. The Svens, not so much. These dudes are excellent, but there’s a 30% chance one of them gets naked on stage. Bunch of balding ballers, these guys. I love ‘em.
Dad Works Hard and Don and the Quixotes, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Band names, right? They’re not always as easy as a The _____s. Sometimes you go out on a limb and, well… Anyway, Dad Works Hard is a kind of throwbacky power funk outfit that goes great with a bear and a drunk friend ready to make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. Don and the Qs are very much a band that I saw play at several frat houses 15 years ago. I’m just not sure why they still look so young… something other than cocaine, I’m guessing?
Bush Pilots, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany, 8 p.m. Free
I haven’t seen these guys play since the tragic passing of their previous bassist, the great Ranier Farmer, just over a year ago. But they’re terrific and I’m sure their new bassist, Darrell Selvig, is great, too. This talented trio pumps out alt-bluegrass with a mellow edge. They’re chiseled, smooth, practiced, and still casual. These guys sound like I want my lattes to taste, if that helps you, local baristas.
Majestic Reader’s Theater: Buried Child, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 and 7 p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students)
Buried Child is the play that won Sam Shepard a Pulitzer and put him on the map. Will it do the same for the sparky thespians of the Majestic Reader’s Theater? I doubt it. But it will surely be worth the admission. This is one of the more enjoyable recurring gigs at the Majestic, and here’s hoping it doesn’t go anywhere. But if it does, for some reason, can I suggest doing it at my house? I make a dynamite tuna fish sandwich, so I’d be happy to feed the players. Also, is it OK if I watch the show in my jammies? Remember, it is happening in my living room in this scenario…
15th Annual Chintimini Chamber Music Festival, First Congregational United Church, 4515 SW Hills Rd. 7:30 p.m. $23
Beethoven, Bunch, Dohnanyi, and Lalliet are on the menu for this 15th installment of the Chintinimizzle Chamber Fizzle, which is how I heard it called by a dude in 2003. Meanwhile, back here in the present, this festival, which is rocking several nights this week, is a total home run. It’s not Americana, but maybe you ponytailed goons could get a little culture this week instead of banjos for once. What? Too much?
“Bry, bro. That’s my guy, bro. He’s like hot pastrami on rye, y’know?” That would be the first line of the rap I’m writing about this guy and his hot jazz skills. Then again, I am a terrible rapper. If you’re interested in terrific jazz pianoing or terrible freestyle rapping, you may want to consider swinging by the ‘Gine on Monday night. Also, their scones aren’t bad.
Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Suggested donation: $5
I wanted to open this week with a joke about “downward dogs playing poker,” but it got away from me. In lieu of that, you’ll just have to go to this weekly yoga event and come up with your own. I particularly like this yoga event because it has a “suggested donation.” I’m what you’d call a famously unsuggestable sort. Neither hypnotist nor host can elicit a favorable reaction from me through the power of suggestion. So from me, they’ll get a donation of $0.25 and like it. I’m a real patron of the arts in that sense. Namaste!
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
CMNYK is rocking one of the greatest films ever made, The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933), starring one of the most brilliant actors to ever do it, Charles Laughton, as the titular king. Ygal talks a big game about showing great classics, and usually we all roll our eyes and pantomime a masturbation gesture. But this time, he ain’t exaggerating. Henry VIII was a powerhouse that led to imitations a plenty, and cemented Alexander Korda as one of the most important producer/directors of the era leading up to World War II. If all that isn’t enough for you, Ygal’s got newsreels and cartoons to prime the experience.
Concert in the Park, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free
Corvallis Community Band is hitting it hard all summer long. Tuesday nights are one of the best nights in town between this and CMNYK. If only some enterprising young genius would sell concessions, this event would be, in parlance, “on fleek.” On a totally unrelated note, I will be giving out hotdogs and popcorn at Concert in the Park on Tuesday. For a suggested donation, of course…
LMNO is often billed as a super group, despite the fact that they clearly have no superhuman abilities of any note. I’ve seen these guys play, and not a one of them can run faster than a cheetah, none of them can fly, and I can only assume they have no telekinetic abilities or they would have read my mind, walked off the stage, and beat my a*s. Now I know the term super group doesn’t traditionally mean anything about super powers, but seeing as how these guys have neither Robbie Robertson nor Eric Clapton, I can only assume they meant it in the comic book sense. Also, my mind has been addled from too many Marvel movies. But seriously, free hip-hop in Corvallis; that’s like offering free pulled pork sandwiches to my grandfather who’s a rabbi.
15th Annual Chintimini Chamber Music Festival, Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7:30 p.m. $23
Bloch, Saint-Saens, and arguably the greatest American composer of them all, Aaron Copland, are on the bill for this edition of the 15th annual Chintimini Chamber Festival. Aside from the fact that this is an awesome event going on all week, this is a particularly fabulous lineup of music and the Whiteside is actually the perfect venue for such a thing. This could be the show of the week right here…
Free Range Open Mic Night, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free
Free Grange Open Mic Night is sure to be a great time. I mean, once you get past the fact that granges were basically frontier bath houses where cowboys could have sex with each other in a judgment-free atmosphere, they really are great places to have shows. What’s that? Open Range, you say? That makes a lot more sense. I guess instead of my lube and cowboy hat I’ll just bring my open-mindedness toward new musical experiences… and my cowboy hat.
Corvallis Knights vs. Mid-Valley Rockets, Goss Stadium. 6:40 p.m. $6
In all seriousness, everyone I talk to who goes to Knights games says they’re the best show in town. I have fantasies in my head of these games playing out a lot like scenes in Bull Durham, or at least Major League 3: Back to the Minors. But in reality it’s probably just a really fun night out that is insanely cheap and one of the best things to do during the summer. What a letdown…