8 Days a Week


Kalida_Thursday28Thursday, 28

Kalida, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $3

These guys look and sound exactly how you’d imagine a band out of Portland called Kalida would look and sound. If that look and sound is for you, you’re going to love this show, and the bargain basement $3 pricing. If you, like me, are disinclined to pay any amount of money for a band with song names such as “Retro Groove,” “Roots Down,” or “Reckless Beauty,” then you’re welcome to come over to my house. My cousins are in town from Albania, and they really like drinking. So I expect an even better time than you’ll have listening to Kalida’s smooth jammy rocking. The cover is $3 at my house, too. Someone’s got to cover the vodka and prostitutes, and I’ll be gosh darned if it’s going to be me again…


The Extremites, Lisa Vasquez, The Turntable Enabler & Future Metz, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Free

Turntable Enabler and Future Metz just opened for Gift of Gab a couple months ago, so I would describe them as “legit.” A slightly less douchey version of me might also shower praise on The Extremities and Lisa Vasquez, but I have no idea who they are. Not to mention the fact that there is no less douchey version of me. Seriously, though, show up to support Corvallis hip-hop or it will literally disappear. In a way it’s not unlike your grandma in that rest home…

Friday, 29

Thunder Egg Consort, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $15 ($10 for members, students, seniors; $5 for children under 12)

Thunder Egg Consort is a group Dr. Frasier Crane would book to play his private party, if he were a real person. This is a piano quartet of ultra seasoned professional musicians with degrees from Juilliard and Curtis who have shared the stage with the likes of Yo-Yo Ma. Why they’ve chosen to name their band like they’re an alternative rock show on college radio is beyond me, but rest assured, the crème de la crème of Corvallis’ elite will be in attendance for this show. Meth heads please enter through the side.


Crow and The Canyon, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5

These guys are really great. I’m not going to pretend to love their choice of band name, which sort of gives away the sound in a hurry, and I’m not going to shine you on about how much this town needs more folk and Americana acts coming through. But—sorry, I lost my train of thought there. These guys are really great, they’re from Portland and they ooze a certain Portland authenticity that I think you’ll enjoy for $5.


Saturday, 30

Flaunt Among the Flowers, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $12 ($10 for members, students, seniors)

A “classy burlesque and drag variety show,” according to the website, this is my show of the week for sure. This is my show of the month. Of the decade. Finally, a little live spicy excellence in Corvallis. Drag shows are almost always really fun. They’re one of those things that’s great when it’s done right and sometimes even greater when it’s done wrong. Add a little booze, shake liberally, and it’s the best night out for the money all year. And I’m like 75% sure nobody will be playing banjo, acoustic guitar, or softly singing about unrequited love in the American heartland.


Xenat-Ra, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 10 p.m. $5

If they were playing on any other night than the drag show, this would be a no-brainer. X-R is a bunch of really talented musicians making jazz-fusion-progressive-hip-hop, which is dangerous and exhilarating, and occasionally douchey. More often than not, though, these guys are an exciting and rhythmic mixed bag of music. Approach with caution.


Sunday, 31

Rebecca Lomnicky & David Brewer, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $20 in advance, $22 at the door

CFS is putting on some insane shows these days. Heres a pretty good example, with Lomnicky, an internationally renowned Scottish fiddler, and Brewer, a bagpipe virtuoso from the popular band Molly’s Revenge. These two will be toting their new CD together and blowing the doors off the theater with some traditional Scottish music that will probably be flat out amazing. If your life experience with the bagpipes only consists of backing tracks on AC/DC songs, or police funerals in action movies, than you’re missing out on a full life, let me tell you. This show is going to be nuts.


Readers Theater: The Language Archive, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 & 7 p.m. $10 ($8 for students, seniors, members)

Unnngghhh, Majestic getting busy this Sunday! Two shows of Reader’s Theater in addition to Lomnicky & Brewer? What, are they trying to get me to move in or something? Well, not me, but someone similar in size and shape to me, but different from me in actual taste and personal schedule. I’ve got a marathon pedicure and massage appointment followed by a session with my dog therapist. Dont worry, I’m not one of those oddballs who takes their dog to a psychiatrist. Its my psychiatrist who’s a dog. At any rate, please take my recommendations for events without any grains of salt.


Monday, 1

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free

Bryson Skaar is the jazz piano machine who makes all the hearts swoon at the ‘Gine every Monday with his infectious ivory tickling. Bear in mind you won’t catch anything from his playing, I mean infectious in a totally positive non-disease sort of way. And its polite to snap instead of clap after he finishes a song. This is jazz, people.


Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Suggested donation: $5

Now that Memorial Day Monday is gone, time for a Monday filled with spirituality, contemplation, and… stretching. OK, that joke really fell apart at the end there. Yoga among the art is second only to yoga among the lions, a short-lived offering at the Portland Zoo, in yoga awesomeness. Of course the wet sandwiches at the Portland Zoo cancelled the yoga there after one lousy mauling. So this is your best option in non-gym yoga now.

Tuesday, 2

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

The bawdy queen of the stage and screen, Mae West, makes her first appearance at CMNYK in the brilliant classic She Done Him Wrong, co-starring a young and extra dashing Cary Grant. This is a hilarious and raunchy romp that is a prototype for the very best in romantic comedies for the next 80 years. As always, there’s a bunch of nutty pre-show newsreels and other goodies from genuine weirdo and person who occasionally writes about himself in the third person, Ygal Kaufman.



Drinkn’ Draw, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 7 p.m. Free

Im in full support of any event that includes the following things: no cover, alcohol, and a non-musical event of some kind. It could be a shuffleboard tournament, or a staged reading of the screenplay from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Its really not that important as long as it’s free to get in, there’s booze on hand, and something to do other than have to pay attention to the people I’m with. I’m what you’d call a real charmer. This is a fun event I won’t be missing, so you can enjoy me in person and draw funny pictures of me.

Wednesday, 3

Ben Blair, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

I try to pump Ben Blair whenever he shows up at Bombs. He’s horribly unpretentious and pretty fun to listen to. A perfect anomaly in the Americana wasteland, I like him so much that even his seeming aversion to self-promotion doesn’t annoy me. This is singer-songwriter stuff at its non-obnoxious best. And we all know how hard that is to achieve in this format. Tip generously and buy a CD—he could have kids to feed for all we know.


Corvallis Knights vs. Portland Sea Dogs, Goss Stadium. 10:30 a.m. $6

Rooting for the nationally ranked Beavers is so passé. Real hardcore baseball fans root for the Knights. This minor league ball club brings the fun and excitement of pro sports for $6. Thats just a bargain, I don’t care where you’re from. The Knights are the Bull Durham to the Beavers’ Field of Dreams. If you know what I mean when I say that, you’ll join me for a game and a hotdog this coming Wednesday, even though, like me, you should probably be at work.


Thursday, 4

Six Mile Station, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

SMS, as I imagine the members of this band abbreviate their name amongst themselves, is a good solid touring folk/Americana act. Bombs is offering up their nationally viable sound for free. You just can’t beat that. Also on a list of things you can’t beat: me at Connect Four. Seriously, I’m like a freaking demon from hell at that game.


Meet the Author: Anthony Alvarado, Grass Roots Books & Music, 227 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free

The author of D.I.Y. Magic: A Strange and Whimsical Guide to Creativity will talk about whatever the hell that is and sign copies of the book. This sounds awesome, as does the life experience of the author who is a former firefighter, science teacher, truck driver, psychic, and mental health counselor (hopefully those last two were not overlapping job titles). The book explores the nature of creativity, inspiration, and the concept of “thinking outside the box” in its rawest form. This is an exhilarating type of thinker’s experience for live consumption, assuming it’s not all one big con job. Only one way to find out.