8 Days a Week…

Thursday, 9

Philomath Frolic, Rodeo Fairground, 502 S 13th St., Philomath. 4 to 10 p.m. Free

Its becoming a yearly tradition that I point out what a missed opportunity it was that they chose to name the thing Frolic instead of Phrolic. But they also declined to hire me as their PR rep, so I can’t exactly pretend to not be a little bitter. But the Frolic is basically the best thing to happen anywhere near this town all year long, so don’t be an idiot and miss it. Also, I live really close—like really, really close—to the fairground, so if you hate this column and have been itching to let me know, just start egging the houses around the rodeo and you’re likely to hit mine at some point.

Now Brothers, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

Calapooia brings another terrific little free music event to you within a stone’s throw of a bunch of booze. Yes, please. I have to admit, at first I was going to mock the band name here as uninspired, but then I thought of it coming out of the mouth of my dad to me and my brother. “Now brothers…” he’d say, before driving us out to the middle of the forest and leaving us there with no supplies. I think it was to teach us a lesson about something… I can’t remember what now, though… Could it have been Jesus?

Friday, 10

Scratchdog Stringband and Pretty Gritty, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

It’s Americana time at Bombs again, and I’m so stoked I could lay an egg. Wait, is that a saying? Scratchdog Stringband sounds exactly as their name suggests, and they would likely slay on a festival circuit playing shows with names like Bumbershoot, Flooperoll, and Klantenflozz. Pretty Gritty would also probably kill on such a tour, which is why this show will be standing room only. Weed is still only legal at home. Leave your joints in the sock drawer.

https://www.facebook.com/scratchdogstringband

http://www.prettygrittymusic.com

Friday Night Music at Emerson Vineyard, 11665 Airlie Rd., Monmouth. 6:30 p.m. $7.50, plus a can of food

Past Forward is going to be blazing their hot jazz licks at Emerson Vineyard. If you know who they are, where that is, or what any of this is about, this will no doubt come as welcome news. For less than eight bucks and a can of corn, there’s not that much you can get in this world. I actually know a guy who can get you some pretty excellent PCP for about that much, but other than going to Three-Eyed Larry’s trailer, this is probably the most fun you’ll have for such a decent price.

http://www.emersonvineyards.com

Saturday, 11

Sick Monkey, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free

This band is as well-reviewed as an indie alt-metal band can be. Seriously, I don’t even know who Yelps bands, or whatever, but Google these guys and you’re going to see a lot of endorsements from people who swear by the Sick Monkey. Don’t get too close or you will get infected. And then if my science education serves me correctly, we would have to track down the original host monkey and synthesize a cure from its blood. So, yeah, you know, come to this show at your own risk/don’t miss it.

https://www.reverbnation.com/sickmonkeymusic

Philomath Frolic, Rodeo Fairground, 502 S 13th St., Philomath. 10:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. $15 for adults, $10 for children

OK, the free night on Thursday is legit. It’s the best free night of entertainment in town basically all year. But if you’re ready to throw down the loot and really rock it, than this is your chance. The rodeo lineup is kicking (pun intended), the bands are more country than Garth Brooks getting lassoed by the singer from Hootie and the Blowfish (I want to say Darius Something…), and the Elephant Ears are a total disgrace. It’s Phrolic time, babies! If it weren’t for the Frolic, Philomath would basically disappear in a cloud of meth and sawdust, so be a lamb and show up to help keep the community alive.

Sunday, 12

Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free

One of these days a big national touring act is going to realize that nobody plays Corvallis on Sundays, walk in to town, and make an absolute killing. Until that day comes, the Blues Jam will just continue printing money with their free melancholy on Sunday afternoons. Fact: This show sounds 20% better if your love just left you or if you just “can’t catch a break.” It’s science.

Corvallis Knights vs. Kitsap Bluejackets, Goss Stadium, 430 SW Langton Pl. 6:40 p.m. $6

Oh my god, the Kitsap Bluejackets? Minor League Baseball’s most outspoken and politically courageous team? The boys who stood up to oppression in the Middle East and Southeast Asia? The ones who put out fires across this great land? Oh, no? Not those Kitsap Bluejackets, you say? You mean this is just the Minor League squad from Kitsap and not a bunch of roving superheroes in a loosely affiliated group? Oh, well in that case, f*ck those guys. Let’s go, Knights!

http://corvallisknights.com/schedule.php

Monday, 13

Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free

Ill listen to smooth jazz piano almost anywhere. Bryson could be playing on the burning, sinking rubble of a houseboat filled with poisonous snakes and rage zombies from 28 Days Later, and I’d still be all, “Oh snap, Bryson Skaar’s playing for free? I’m there!” Now some of you don’t have the same level of open-hearted, some might even say bizarre, dedication to both Bryson Skaar in particular and jazz music in general. And to those people, I can only say, prepare to get punched in the gut and genital-stomped by great music. I’m painting a picture with words…

http://www.reverbnation.com/brysonskaar

Yoga in the Gallery, The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m. Suggested donation: $5

Im not going to beat around the bush here; if you downward dog into a wafting plank (that’s the name of a pose, isn’t it?) and accidentally kick over a display full of expensive art, they totally wont charge you for it. I don’t have that guarantee on a signed written document or anything, but let’s just say when my planks waft, they really waft. And I’ve never been charged for any of the damage I cause. Then again, I’m what you’d call a beloved local institution, so I can pretty much write my own ticket. You; not so much. Regardless, Yoga in the Gallery is the best way to work up a sweat and enjoy beauty at the same time. Wait, scratch that; second best.

Tuesday, 14

Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free

CMNYK rounded out a full year of movie madness at the Darkside Cinema, and there were record crowds for the final screening of year one. Ygal had to be happy about that—then again, he’s never happy about anything… But now the real test comes: can he beat the sophomore slump that afflicts so many great art ventures? I mean, if True Detective can’t do any better than what we’ve seen so far, I’m skeptical CMNYK can do any better. But here they go, trying with a cheap tactic known as star power; it’s Ernst Lubitsch’s romantic comedy classic, Bluebeard’s Eighth Wife (1938), starring Claudette Colbert, Gary Cooper, and David Niven. Jeez, these guys really don’t want you doing anything else on Tuesdays, huh?

https://cmnyk.wordpress.com

https://www.facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis

Concert in the Park, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free

Can you beat free music in the park when it’s hot out? No, you really can’t. Except, I guess, by free music inside an air-conditioned space. But since I’m not inviting you over to my place to sip mint juleps and listen to a phonograph of this Al Jolson character everyone’s talking about so much, I guess you’ll have to settle for the fabulous Corvallis Community Band in their favorite venue: Central Park. Also, does anybody listen to Al Jolson anymore?

Wednesday, 15

Hilltop Big Band, Central Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Free

HBB really raises the stakes on free Central Park gazebo concerts in Corvallis. Their Wednesday night shows are fabulous, and if I were to pick a winner in a hypothetical Brazilian jiu-jitsu grappling match between the Hilltop Big Band and the Corvallis Community Band, I think I’d probably pick Hilltop. They play with more swing and they really look like they work out their cores, and not just the glamour muscles that will lead to an inevitable a*s-kicking for the Community Band. Is it sensible to measure bands on their fighting skills? No. But this is America. If you want fair, head on over to Canada, or, I don’t know, Sweden or something.

http://www.hilltopbigband.com

Daniel Robinson, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free

Daniel Robinson’s Facebook page makes a reference to “acoustic soul.” So I basically checked out right there. Less shallow people than me might actually decide to give this guy a chance. He could be great, and with an 8:30 start time, he basically gives you the perfect chance to go see Hilltop Big Band at Central Park, then beat the post-show traffic and head over to Bombs to catch Dan Robinson. Do me a favor and request that one really annoying John Mayer song. Not only will it be a good test of Robinson’s talents, but when the revolution comes we’ll know who to kill first…

https://www.facebook.com/acousticsoul22

Thursday, 16

The Weather Machine and Jared, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free

Jared is the Jared (Jared Ryan Maldonado) from Portland indie sensation Dresses. And if you don’t love this band Dresses, let me just tell you: you and me will get along. Wanna come over and make dismissive hand gestures while not listening to a Dresses track? OK, I’m a hater. But this is definitely your show of the week right here with two out-of-town acts that could theoretically tour nationally, playing for free. You’re welcome.

http://weathermachinemusic.com

http://dressestheband.com

Rough Jazz, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7 p.m. Free

Rough Jazz is back in action at the ‘Pooia. And I’m very pleased, because these guys are terrific and I like that they don’t use kid gloves with their music. If I learned anything from Fifty Shades of Grey Days of Thunder, it’s that sometimes getting a little rough can make the evening, and that rubbing is racing. Come to the ‘Pooia and get both your evening rub on with me and Rough Jazz. For free. Cha-ching!

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