S*M*A*S*H Sticks It to the New Year

sick town
The Corvallis Sick Town Derby Dames are starting this year off with a smash. On Jan. 18, the S*M*A*S*H Unit, Sick Town’s travel team, squared off against Lava City’s Moulin Bruise from Bend at Albany’s Linn County Expo Center. This match was an exhibition bout, to make up for the match that was canceled due to weather last December.

Sick Town’s season doesn’t officially start until Saturday, Feb. 8, but after the cancellation of their last game S*M*A*S*H was raring to go. Since last season, S*M*A*S*H has added several new, experienced players, and this game presented them with a test run. Moulin Bruise was more than happy to test their mettle, with their relatively new coach “Dirty Dub.”

After an opening ceremony featuring Corvallis Irish dance group An Daire, the teams took to the rink with a series of high-scoring jams on both sides. In the fifth jam, a series of penalties left Moulin with most of their team in the box. S*M*A*S*H’s #H8 “Swagger Jackie” took advantage of the situation and scored an incredible 25 points, putting S*M*A*S*H in the lead. Moulin spent several jams trying to play catch up, but S*M*A*S*H always managed to shut them down, or keep on their tails, ending the jams quickly. Moulin’s #22 ”Tree Hugger” also consistently scored by using her incredible speed to break away from the pack. Both of them showed a seemingly endless amount of endurance.

At the half the score was 101 to 71, favoring S*M*A*S*H. But in Roller Derby one big play can tilt the scales. Coach “Dirty Dub” commented that he planned on making a comeback in the second half by reducing penalties and controlling the backcourt. S*M*A*S*H team co-captain #AK-47 “Miss Kitty La Rue” was focused on keeping her team’s current momentum, staying just ahead of Moulin.

Last half of the game saw Coach Dirty’s plan in action. Moulin came back with a flurry of super-fast, low-scoring jams using ”Tree Hugger’s” speed. Moulin edged out a lead using short jams, with the exception of the 15th jam where penalties allowed S*M*A*S*H to score 12 points.

Moulin managed to hold on to its comeback and the game ended at 165 to 186, with Lava City’s Moulin Bruise taking home the win. It was a fast-paced game with good plays by both teams. The real stars of the bout were the blockers of both teams who put up some amazing defensive formations, especially in the second half.

The Corvallis Sick Town Derby Dames’ next game will be on Saturday, Feb. 8 at Albany’s Linn County Expo Center and will feature S*M*A*S*H Unit vs. Sonoma County All-Stars from Santa Rosa, California. Advance tickets are $10 available at Uprise Skate Shop in Corvallis and $10 on their site — http://sicktownderbydames.com. Tickets will be $15 at the door.

by Tyson Beauchemin