As the State Turns

By Johnny Beaver

stateturnssymbolOregon Fish and Wildlife in the Budget Doghouse
$32 million. Not a lot, I know… but that’s the number the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife is expecting to have to fix over the next two years. Not only have operating costs been steadily rising, but the sale of state licenses for hunting and fishing have dipped to a dismal 30-year low. Agency officials have stated that there will likely be a rolling out of cutbacks, but that they feel confident the budget will find balance without having to cut anything that will discourage hunters and fishers from engaging in their compulsory animal-wranglin’.

The total proposed budget rests at about the $361 million line. Traditionally, hunters and fishers provide over 40 percent of that via taxes and fees.

Oregon Kicks GlaxoSmithLine in the Fruit ‘n’ Veggies
Pharmaceutical peddlers GlaxoSmithKline is having to shake $4 million dollars or so from their piggy bank and into Oregon’s wallet as a result of being busted promoting and misrepresenting the drugs Advair, Paxil, and Wellbutrin. Forty-five attorney generals landed on them hard, reaching a $105 million settlement. Although GlaxoSmithKline doesn’t admit to the allegations (shock and awe!), they’ve agreed to reform their marketing and promotion attempts.

Total Idiot Feeds Children Pot Brownies
One Anne Marie Springer, a 37-year-old mother from Redmond, was arrested after getting caught feeding marijuana-laced brownies to her own kid and another underage student. One of them apparently went to the hospital as a result of their reaction to the drug (don’t laugh). The children were aged 14 and 16 respectively.

Apparently Springer had waltzed on down to a dispensary in Bend for her supply, which was subsequently seized by police along with scales, packaging materials, suspected methamphetamine “residue,” and more brownies. Police were unable to ascertain whether or not the brownies were Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines.

The alleged brownie-feeder’s kids were placed with relatives, and mama bear was released on bail Wednesday. According to local media, “The teen [that] was hospitalized was released and is expected to make a full recovery.” Okay, now you can laugh.

OR-7 and Booze
You know, our favorite wolf… that we’re all so, so sick of hearing about? Well, apparently it gave birth. Likely by way of a female. Scientists we have on retainer have confirmed that it was likely a result of wolf sex, and is the first known wolf reproduction to have occurred in the Oregon Cascades since the 1940s.

Also, last week those pushing for liquor privatization in the state threw in the towel (for this year, anyway). That’s about all there is to that.

80,000 Cover Oregon Customers: Time to Re-Enroll
Just in case you missed all of the fun, Tina Edlund of the Cover Oregon Transition Project let the Oregon Health Policy Board know last week that 80,000 Oregonians will have to sign up again this coming November in order to get insurance. This has come as the result of moving over to, and away from the terrible plague of our own exchange website, but is likely to please no one, and nobody. While it is an unavoidable part of moving forward, it is also an unavoidable pain in the ass.

This year 422,000 Oregonians have enrolled in health care, which has the state ranked seventh out of the 15 that have launched their own exchange websites. This leads us to just one question: by what insane set of criteria are they operating?

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