For many people, “holiday” is a four letter word: Food. Copious amounts of delightful food, some of which you only get to enjoy this time of year. People go insane, trying to avoid overindulgence and keep off the pound or two that the average American gains from Thanksgiving to Christmas. This year I say screw it! Let’s all agree to throw caution to the wind and do our best to pack on those holiday pounds!
I sat down with Jessica Beauchemin, trainer and owner of Jess B Fit Personal Training and Yoga, to discuss the ways we can all get ourselves nice and plump for the holidays.
If you’re cooking, use grandma’s recipes. If grandma was too health conscious, well, there are other options. Try to stick with recipes that call for lard or a minimum of 8 sticks of butter. Jess recommends snacking while preparing the food, and while serving if you’re so inclined.
Eat your ever-loving heart out! Don’t be too proud to be the first to dig in to appetizers, and go back for seconds or thirds. Remember, you’re among family and friends, so there are no rules against cleaning the plates of others.
Don’t worry if you need to take a break between helpings. Jess recommends taking intermittent naps. When you get up, get right back to eating! There are only so many hours in a day, you know.
Bring on the dessert
Try them all. Candies, cakes, brownies, pies; Jess says that “any quantity of dessert” will help you on your way to extra poundage. Stage your very own pie eating contest – and win.
Don’t forget the cocktails!
Alcohol can do you the dual favor of packing on pounds while keeping you too dazed to let your family drive you crazy. Jess recommends getting friendly with eggnog. It’s available earlier every year, so feel free to get a head start.
Take advantage of your family. Have relatives bring you all your food and drinks. You just stay nice and cozy on the couch. There’s probably a good football game on, so settle in and watch in awe of the weight those linemen carry around.
Back to Reality
I know what you’re thinking, this is all good until the New Year rolls around and you’re five to fifty pounds heavier. Well, bravo and well done if that’s the case, but in good conscience, here is some advice for how to turn all that new beautiful fat into muscle. In general, Jess suggests doing some sort of resistance activity two to three days per week, weight lifting, kickboxing, etc., but if you want to put a holiday spin on it, “you can lift a turkey up over your head, carry heavy gifts around, or play with kids; anything to resist weight.” She adds that “protein shakes alone will not do it; you have to do the work.” Building muscle will have you feeling and looking better if you stick to it. And there’s always next Thanksgiving to look forward to.