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Culture Fail: Big Brother Isn’t Just Watching… He’s Collecting Your Toenails
Fail fail fail fail. Sometimes, I really don’t know what’s worse—the terrible choices our government makes or the willfully ignorant people that are shocked and outraged when one of these choices goes public. None of this is truly “news,” but the belabored release of this domestic spying sludge into the public eye is finally crowning. ...
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Culture Fail: Dutch Bros… Invading a Stadium Near You
It’s no secret that I’d rather watch a Star Trek: DS9 Marathon than a sports game that doesn’t involve impromptu fist fights, but alas, nobody is perfect. Taking the no-perfection thing to a whole new level, Oregon drive-through favorite Dutch Bros. Coffee just signed an exclusive deal with the Beavers and the Ducks – gasp! ...
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Culture Fail: High School Bombings Are Not Video Games, Mr. Haroldson
From an early age, American school children begin to be indoctrinated with several ideas about where they live, where they come from and who they are. Honestly, it isn’t a bad message in intention. And as long as you can block out the “American is the greatest ever and can do no wrong!” stuff, as ...
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Culture Fail: Art Vs. Commodity… A Struggle Too Often Lost
Not many people who get into art do so for reasons that don’t at least partially include the romance felt for other artists and their work. Or even just the idea of being well known and thought of as a genius without having to log the hours for a mathematics Ph.D. To break it down ...
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Culture Fail: 2nd St. Circus… bipeds, tires, tunnel vision, oh my!
You know you’re in a great place when you’re hard pressed to find things that piss you off. I love you, Corvallis. Still, there is room for improvement, and I think that the community would do well to toss 2nd street on the slab for a minute. It’s no Monroe during the lunch rush, but ...
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Culture Fail: Mothers Day… Because I Bet Your Mom Hates It When You Buy Her Stuff
Much like how a Starbucks caramel macchiato is a sugary, inflated, bastardization of real coffee, Mother’s Day hasn’t been “Mother’s Day”—at least according to founder Anna Jarvis—since the 1920s. Anna Jarvis’s beloved mom, Ann, died in 1905 and Jarvis became fixated—like an insatiable, blackcloaked honey badger—on creating a holiday to commemorate and celebrate individual mothers. ...
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OMGWTF!?… Earth Ball: An Interspecies Masquerade?
I went to Earth Ball. I was glad to see the venue offered multiple alcoholic beverages and also coffee, because what is the point of going to a party if I am asleep? My other primary feeling, besides gladness and maybe a little wooziness from the cider, was annoyance because it was a masquerade and ...
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Culture Fail: Is Earth Day Broken?
Imagine that you’re on a spaceship. The spaceship is no longer functioning all that well. It’s no longer functioning all that well because you’ve done nothing to care for it or maintain it. Because of this, you managed to kill off the rest of your companions and damage your own life support system. You’ve eaten ...
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Culture Fail: All Hail the Easter Jesus
If your neighborhood is anything like mine, it’s impossible to walk a block without encountering the Easter Jesus. At first glance, it looks like a real estate sign: thin board mounted on dual wire posts. Then, you read it: “EASTER Jesus HE IS RISEN.” Your brain does a bit of a double-take. We all lose ...
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Culture Fail: Caught in the Middle… Debunking the ‘Monsanto Rider’
From the state that brought you Todd “legitimate rape” Akin (R-Mo), comes a new breed of awful in the form of Senator Roy Blunt (R-Mo), sponsor of Section 735—the Farmer Assurance Provision, also known as the “Monsanto Rider”—of interim budget bill HR 933. Passed on March 20th of this year, the budget bill essentially enables ...
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Culture Fail: Were Conservatives Right About Canada?
Every four years you hear the same refrain from liberals: “If (Republican presidential candidate) is elected, I’m moving to Canada.” Sure, Canadians speak funny and pay homage to the Queen, but they also have cherished liberal programs: near universal health coverage, reasonably tough gun laws, gay marriage, and a strong belief in multilateralism. But you ...
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Culture Fail: The Sequester: All Pain, No Gain
While representatives of the two parties in the Congress bicker about who’s to blame for the sequester, its effects will begin to roll out over the next thirty days—and these effects will not be negligible. Congress’s inability to avoid the sequester, as was the original intent, has, and will continue to lead to the end ...
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Linn Sheriff Mueller, and Just What Is Posse Comitatus?: The False Dichotomy of Gun Control
The ongoing gun control debate in this country sometimes seems like a cross between an episode of The Flying Nun and a scrambled egg. Real facts and reasoning are lost in the hubbub of what seems to be largely a false dichotomy. I know, this isn’t news, it’s just the 21st century. Fair enough. But ...
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Culture Fail: Football Season
Gone are the days when young boys dreamt of playing the game because it meant being part of something bigger than themselves.
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Saluting and Lamenting OSU’s Smoking Ban
Besides better health, what does OSU’s smoking ban mean for the campus community, and what are we losing?
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Culture Fail: Barbies of the World – Just Racism?
Barbies of the World: Still stereotypical, now racist?
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Culture Fail: Meet Your Republican VP Nominee – Ayn Rand
Vice Presidential bobo Paul Ryan is an Ayn Rand disciple, but only when it’s convenient. While he claimed to take political inspiration from Rand in a speech to the Atlas Society, he now asserts that this is only an “urban legend.”
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Video Game Monopolies: Why Corvallis Needs and Alternative to GameStop
If anyone loves video games, it’s college students. Corvallis is a college town which prides itself in having small business alternatives, yet the only used video game store within miles is GameStop.
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Culture Fail: Art Robinson, Climate Change Deniers, and the End of the World As We Know It
Stop shrugging off climate-change deniers and never, ever, vote them into office.
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Scientology Comes to Oregon
Apparently, we as people are the sum of some equation which includes a master lord stuffing us into volcanoes and detonating a massive explosion. We can cleanse ourselves by holding onto two metal cylinders and talking about our feelings until our past lives are recalled and our meter reading hits zero. Spiritual enlightenment consists of ...