Linn-Benton Backwash

Whoa ho ho, everybody! It’s a lovely day in the neighborhood, and what’s more lovely than seeing The Advocate’s logo on a Kate Brown for Governor commercial? How about seeing the Gazette-Times’ logo on a Knute Buehler for Governor commercial! Damn, we’re really killing it down here…

…except for that time last week when an ad for state representative Mike Nearman – the goof we recently outed for his ties to a hate group – appeared on the GT website above a piece about hate group expert Randy Blazak. Awwwwwwkward. In all fairness though, the article was pretty good (Go Bennett!!!). But yeah… maybe don’t take money from turd burglars, because they’re turd burglars… Also because they’re pieces of sh*t.

Speaking of steaming piles, some flyers have recently been spotted around town with photos of Andrew Oswalt, with a big “LOCAL NAZI” heading, Oswalt’s height and weight, and a link – Bit.ly/2rHLzYm – that goes to the Pacific Northwest Antifascist Workers Collective. Or as it is also known: the PNWAWC. Because this is Oregon, and nobody here loves anything quite like they love a good acronym. Or an annex. We f*cking love annexes.

Anyhow, the associated website has managed to amass a huge amount of Andrew Oswalt info, so if you’re into racist garden gnomes with pubic beards, you’re going to want to call out of work and draw the curtains. Also, slap yourself hard in the face, because what the hell is wrong with you?

While I’m glad there are concerned citizens out there who feel that racist pieces of trash like Oswalt don’t deserve a moment’s peace, I won’t be holding my breath waiting for one of these vigilante tactics to actually accomplish something. But hey, whatever gets you out of bed and into your battle gear in the morning. At the same time, I do understand wanting to stay anonymous in sharing that information. Makes it harder for people to file a class action lawsuit against you for making them see Sticker-Stickin’ Oswalt’s pancake-batter face a few extra times.

Linn-Benton Backwash is a barely-coherent satire with a teaspoon of white-knighting, a pinch of bald-faced lies, and dash of pooptalk. In other words, don’t take it too seriously – nobody here does; especially the author.

By Sam Campbell

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